


tangled in the willows

by stormss



Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, M/M, One Shot Collection, Prompt Fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-06-13
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:20:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 27,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23379757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stormss/pseuds/stormss
Summary: A collection of one shots, all prompted fromthis poston Tumblr.
Relationships: Carlos Reyes/TK Strand
Comments: 139
Kudos: 483
Collections: 9-1-1 Lone Star ▶ Carlos Reyes / Tyler Kennedy "TK" Strand





	1. 45. "i can't imagine this world without you" & 94. "i wont lose you too"

**Author's Note:**

> the title comes from _gooey_ by glass animals!! come say hi or send me prompts over on [tumblr!](https://reyesstrand.tumblr.com/)

They’re probably going to give each other heart attacks, one of these days. 

TK’s never dated a fellow first-responder before Carlos; hell, he’s barely dated anyone with similar life experiences before. Sure, there were a couple boys back in high school that never amounted to anything serious, and then Alex was his entire life for two years after finishing the academy when he was twenty. But Alex worked a desk job, and one day wanted to be a teacher; he worked a nine-to-five, had benefits, and kept to a tight schedule. TK never had to worry when he went to work. Now, the nervousness runs in a two-way street — Carlos worries about TK and TK worries about Carlos, and every night that they get to come home to one another, when their schedules actually line up, the relief washes over them in waves. 

But it’s been rough for the last little while. Not only have their shifts rarely overlapped, but Buttercup had a health scare a few days ago. He was okay, thankfully, the whole team was assured it was just a stomach bug, but it’s been chewing away at the back of TK’s mind ever since. It especially doesn’t help that TK’s standing here now, being forced to just _wait_ while Carlos and his partner are tasked with securing an active shooter scene. 

Fire and EMS had been called in as backup since they were in the area, and while Owen had mostly sent them off to help with crowd control, Paul, TK and Marjan were assisting Tim and Nancy as they checked vitals of witnesses. Several police cruisers were parked in a jagged line to separate on-lookers and the house that apparently had an armed man inside, and TK keeps finding himself glancing at the barrier that’s physically keeping him from his boyfriend, and he _hates_ it. 

He startles when his dad comes up from behind him, after he’s confirmed the stable BP of one of the young girls that lives in the neighbouring house, letting her go off to find her mom. The comforting weight of his father’s hand rests on his shoulder, and TK swallows. “You okay?” 

TK makes a vague sound of affirmation in the back of his throat. He keeps his eyes trained on the house, before glancing over to some of the waiting officers to see if their expressions change as they get updates through their radios. Then it’s back to the house, watching for any movement.

“Look at me, TK,” his dad says, and TK sighs and turns to him. His dad’s eyebrows are furrowed in concern, and TK knows he’s mirroring him exactly. “He’s going to be okay, son.” 

“I know,” TK lies, his voice rough. He tries to clear his throat and drags a hand down his face, trying not to think of all the shit that could be going down inside the house. And of course, that’s when a gunshot rings out, sounding like an echo as it’s muffled by the house. The crowd reacts around him, jerking back in surprise; TK feels his stomach drop to the floor as he stumbles forward, and he makes it three or four steps before Judd grabs him, tall and sturdy enough to only need to block him with one arm against his chest. 

“Let me go,” TK says, voice strained, and Judd just shakes his head. 

“You gotta let them do their jobs, kid,” Judd says, gruff and taking no shit, and TK wants to protest but the logical side of him tells him to stay put with his team; they need to let the trained, bullet-proof vest-wearing people in. The part of him that knows the love of his life has possibly been shot; the part of him that feels that he could be doing _something_ to help is making it hard to breathe. He has to remind himself of the trick his therapist told him about when he was fifteen; he inhales deeply and holds it in for a long few seconds, concentrating on counting out to eight as he exhales. TK does it three or four more times until he feels grounded once more, and Judd loosens his grip, but he’s still a comforting presence. It happens in time for the house’s front door to open, as a disgruntled looking man steps outside, hands cuffed behind his back. 

And Carlos is the one leading him out. 

TK almost physically slumps to the ground as he watches several other officers walk forward to take the man into custody, guiding him toward one of the squad cars; someone puts a hand on Carlos’ shoulder as he explains what happened, and the sergeant speaking to him jerks her thumb over her shoulder toward Michelle and the ambulance and Carlos is nodding, and TK watches every small movement he makes. He looks unharmed, at least from a distance, and TK finds his feet moving as Carlos stalls in front of his friend, letting Michelle guide him to sitting on the edge of the back of the ambulance. 

TK catches snippets of conversation as he approaches; Michelle telling Carlos to stay put so she can check him over while his boyfriend insists he’s fine. TK tries not to let his worry show on his face, but Carlos knows him well enough to pick up on it the second he sees him. 

“Ty, hey—”

“Are you okay?” TK asks, looking him over with a careful eye. He finds himself starting to ramble, a nervous habit. “Does anything hurt? We heard the gunshot go off, we thought that someone was hit and I—”

Carlos reaches forward, despite Michelle trying to secure a BP cuff around his bicep, and takes TK’s hands in his. “Hey, hey, I’m okay. I swear. Our guy accidentally shot a round into the wall, nobody was injured. Sarge just wants everyone to be checked over.” 

TK feels his eyes burning. It’s comforting to know that it was a false alarm, but how many times will they get lucky? He knows that time isn’t guaranteed, and he’s trying to accept that, but having so many scares himself this last year and dealing with his dad’s ongoing treatment kind of catches up to him all at once, especially staring in his boyfriend’s eyes now. 

His shoulders sag, a bit. He’s vaguely aware of Michelle’s presence as she digs through supplies in the back of her rig, so he says it quietly, as Carlos’ thumb drags over his knuckles. “I can’t— **I won’t lose you, too** , Carlos.” 

“You’re not going to lose me, Ty,” Carlos whispers, his voice breaking through the fog of TK’s mind. He steps closer because he can’t help it, and he lets go of Carlos’ hands only to frame his boyfriend’s face with them. “You’re not going to lose anyone.”

TK smiles, just a little upturn to the corner of his mouth, swiping his thumb along the sharp jut of Carlos’ jawline for a brief moment before Michelle lightly clears her throat, a twinkle of a knowing gaze in her eyes. 

“Um, sorry, I’ll leave you to it,” TK says, glancing at the paramedic captain quickly before meeting Carlos’ stare again. “I’ll see you tonight?” 

Carlos nods in confirmation, clearly noticing the anxious tremble of his fingers, even as TK slips away to the rest of the 126. 

* * *

Later that evening, after they’ve eaten takeout and started some B-list movie they love as a guilty pleasure, TK finds himself drifting away into his thoughts. He’s in his claimed spot on Carlos’ couch, curled up in the corner with one leg draped over Carlos’ lap, his boyfriend absentmindedly tapping against his knee. 

“I’m sorry for earlier,” TK says, pulling Carlos’ eyes away from the screen. They settle, so open and earnest, on him, and TK’s stomach swoops. “I kinda freaked out.” 

“I would’ve been doing the same had everything been reversed,” Carlos shrugs a little, but his jaw tenses. “I don’t want you to worry about me, Ty. I know it’s inevitable, but I hate the thought of you getting worked up over worst-case scenarios.” 

TK chews down hard on his bottom lip. “It’s pretty hard to say that when I know you worry about me.”

“Hey, I’m not denying that. I think this is something we’re just going to have to work through, baby,” Carlos says, squeezing his knee. “It’s just... **I can’t imagine this world without you.** Plain and simple. So we just have to talk and be open with each other because I love you, TK, and I hate to see you upset.”

“I love you too,” TK replies quickly, knowing that’s the truth deep to his bones. Nothing will stop him from loving Carlos, not when he held himself back for so long. “I’m not giving up on this, honey.” 

Carlos grins at him, that private one reserved just for him, and TK moves closer to wrap his arms around his boyfriend, always longing for his touch. He presses his mouth to Carlos’ throat as he feels strong arms wrap around him, holding him tight and TK feels the unspoken promise passing between them, one that says that neither of them plan on ever letting go. 


	2. 87. "you're so adorable" & 73. "excuse me?"

It’s a slow day at work, which is a blessing in disguise. 

Because Carlos has come to learn that slow and boring means safe; it also means that he gets to complain about it to TK and his boyfriend will try to cheer him up through their never-ending text thread. Carlos trudges through the first half of his shift, filling out paperwork and responding to only a few calls when he’s out on patrol with McCoy — they only really deal with settling noise complaints or disputes between neighbours. His phone is constantly vibrating in his pocket, though, and when McCoy goes to pick up their takeout order from one of the local food trucks Carlos scrolls through message after message. TK sends him the most stupidly endearing texts; he passes along jokes Marjan’s cracked or some story of a middle-aged man stuck in the treehouse he was attempting to build for his kids, only to realize too late he had a fear of heights. TK sends him another text about their plans for the night, as they’d both be home before seven, which was kind of a miracle. McCoy teases him once he gets back to their patrol car, catching Carlos off guard as he smiles down at his phone with a slight blush to his cheeks. Carlos quickly types out a message in response to TK —  _ you’re a menace, i love you so much  _ — before he turns to their lunch. 

Now, with an achy neck from working at his desk for a good chunk of the day, Carlos is just longing to go home to his boyfriend. And he immediately smiles when he steps foot into his home and finds TK lounging comfortably on the couch, as if he has carved out a spot for himself in the house the same way he’s carved out a spot in Carlos’ heart. He’s scrolling through his phone, but he meets Carlos’ eyes the moment the door opens, and the two of them stare at each other like smiling idiots for half a second before TK jerks his chin and gestures for Carlos to come forward, which he does easily, like breathing. Resting one hand on the back of the couch behind TK, Carlos meets his boyfriend halfway in a kiss. TK presses forward almost desperately, a teasing look passing over his face as he pulls away just enough to speak. 

“So I’m a menace, huh?” TK says against his mouth, and Carlos rolls his eyes as he surges forward for one more quick kiss. 

“Don’t act like you don’t know it,” Carlos replies, running a hand through TK’s hair. TK opens his mouth to deliver some sarcastic comment until he pointedly watches every movement as Carlos steps back enough to pull off his heavy belt and start unbuttoning his collared shirt. TK’s eyebrows jump upward suggestively, words dying on his tongue as he watches. “Ah, nope. Let me shower first, baby. Want to order in tonight?” 

“No way. You shower, I’m making you dinner,” TK says, jumping up to his feet to crowd into Carlos’ space long enough to press a kiss to his jaw. He scurries off toward the kitchen and Carlos watches in quiet amazement and love, until he shakes his head at himself and retreats toward the bathroom. He emerges feeling so much more relaxed, after letting hot water and steam work out some of the tension in his muscles. After changing into a very well-worn APD t-shirt and sweats, Carlos slips back into the hallway and takes a moment to just watch TK move around the kitchen, warming him completely to see how at ease he’s been over the last few months that they’ve been officially together. There are still some bad days, which they handle together, but they just  _ work,  _ and Carlos cherishes every moment they get. 

After dinner, they follow through with their nightly tradition whenever they get to actually spend their time together after their shifts: doing absolutely nothing. They lounge on the couch, making out for a little bit like teenagers before they just end up curled together, TK slouched against Carlos while they talk aimlessly about their days. Something Carlos learned very quickly about his boyfriend is how touchy he is; he constantly craves physical touch, even as something as simple as holding hands. He’d been hesitant before, when they were stuck in a limbo of going slow while moving at TK’s pace, but now TK latches onto him whenever he can — and Carlos never denies how much comfort it brings him, too. 

It’s been probably a week since they actually got alone time like this, at least in the sense that one of them doesn’t come home to the other already passed out in bed. They have  _ time  _ tonight, and TK seems to take advantage of that. He starts out slowly as Carlos talks about one of the more hilarious calls he remembers being on a couple weeks ago, one that the 126 was also dispatched to — but his thoughts melt out of his brain like goo as TK mouths down his jaw and throat, nosing against the skin there as he hums along to Carlos’ words. 

“You’re a little shit,” Carlos mutters before his words cut off in a soft sound drawn from the back of his throat, as he easily pulls TK closer. TK grins, as he’s apparently made it his life’s mission to make Carlos speechless, settling on Carlos’ lap as he moves in to kiss him properly. TK runs his fingers through Carlos’ curls, groaning a bit as Carlos finally kisses him back deeply, one arm curled against the small of TK’s back. “Don’t start something you aren’t going to finish, Ty.” 

TK pulls back, feigning innocence as he gives him a look. “Would I ever?” 

He then flashes him a pretty grin, knowing full well that he’s a fucking tease that has left him hanging plenty of times before, and surges forward to kiss him again before Carlos can respond. He’s smiling into the kiss and Carlos can’t help but to laugh a little into it, slipping his hands up and under TK’s hoodie, palms against his warm skin. TK sits back a bit, just enough to start properly yanking off his hoodie — he does it too quickly, though, which leads him to promptly getting stuck in the forest green fabric. TK makes a muffled sound and Carlos reaches up to help him out of the mess he’s gotten himself in, eventually tossing the hoodie to the floor. Carlos grins immediately though, because TK’s got his hair sticking up at every possible angle, and he has that glossy twinkle in his eyes, and his lips are kiss-red and Carlos  _ loves him.  _ He cracks a lopsided smile at him, nudging Carlos’ nose with his own as he tries to duck back in. “What’s so funny?” 

“Nothing,” Carlos smirks into the kiss. “It’s just that  **you’re so adorable** , it feels like you’re trying to kill me.” 

“ **Excuse me?** ” TK asks, scrunching up his nose in a move that makes Carlos’ heart swell even more. 

Carlos shakes his head, loving the flush that spreads over TK’s face. “You heard me, cariño.” 

“Have you looked at yourself lately, baby?” TK asks, though he’s still blushing a little, taking some of the teasing bite from his voice. His words go soft as he whispers, “You’re the cutest fucking thing.” 

“Who knew TK Strand was a sap, huh?” Carlos teases, earning him a light nudge from TK until his boyfriend frames his face in his hands and practically kisses the grin off his lips, a predicament that Carlos would love to find himself in for as long as he lives.


	3. 81. "it's cold, you should take my jacket" & 87. "you're so adorable"

TK has come to realize that Carlos might be one of the most romantic people he’s ever met. 

In all of his relationships, TK was always the one putting in the most effort; he would be the one setting up dates and he remembered anniversaries and would always be running on fumes as he tried to show his boyfriends an outpouring of love that was never fully matched by them. But Carlos has swept him off his feet since they first met and it’s almost overwhelming when it comes to how open Carlos is with his feelings. At first, it made TK want to run because he couldn’t do it again — he wasn’t ready to crack open his heart to someone else at the risk of it getting broken. Now, he can’t imagine giving up the happiness he feels. It isn’t perfect, because nothing is, and there’s days where TK retreats into his thoughts and feels restless with urges he refuses to succumb to, but the team is always there for him;  _ Carlos  _ is always there for him, no matter what. And TK wants nothing more than to show him how much he appreciates it. How much he appreciates  _ him.  _

The perfect opportunity comes when they happen to share a night off together at the end of the week. TK jumps on the chance to impress his boyfriend; he plans a nice dinner at one of the fancier restaurants he’s found in his trips around town, as he tries to grow familiar with Austin. He plans a delivery of flowers to Carlos’ house and feels a sense of nervous energy passing over him as he spends the day getting ready. He wakes up with a dull headache and chills, but thinks nothing of it as he finishes the last few hours of his shift, before running home to change. TK rotates through multiple outfits; some are more practical for the weather, but others are more flattering, and living through New York winters leaves TK confident in his decision to go with the black jeans and thin patterned button-down, which he rolls the sleeves to as he anxiously waits to leave. 

His dad comes home and jokes with him about a curfew, even though it’s become more and more typical for TK to spend his nights off at Carlos’ place. TK waves goodbye to him, rolling his eyes when he gets yet another response that is really serious, but cloaked in his dad’s light-hearted tone of voice as he’s told to stay safe. TK actually feels giddy as he leaves the house, ready to be the one to sweep Carlos off  _ his  _ feet for once. 

It turns out that TK’s body just wants to betray him. 

“Ugh, I’m sorry,” TK says, for probably the fiftieth time, as Carlos deftly guides him through crowds of locals and tourists alike. They’d made it to the restaurant, and even ordered appetizers, but TK started coughing, and the chills came back, and when Carlos had looked at him with those concerned eyes of his and pressed a palm to TK’s forehead, he immediately declared that TK was burning up and he was taking him home. 

“It’s not your fault that you’re sick, Ty,” Carlos pulls him closer to his side, running a hand up and down his arm. “Here, you’re feverish and  **it’s cold, you should take my jacket** .” 

TK opens his mouth to protest, but he has to admit the extra layer of clothing is fucking amazing as Carlos settles the coat over his shoulders. “Thanks.”

“Don’t be upset,” Carlos whispers, once they get back to the car. Of course he was able to pick up on the emotional turmoil going on in TK's head. 

“I just wanted to have a nice night to show you how much I—” TK stops, for a moment, before he takes a breath and says it: “How much I love you.” 

“I love you, too. I don’t need anything extravagant, Ty,” Carlos says, threading their fingers together. “I just need you.” 

TK gives him a look, vaguely wondering if Carlos can actually hear his heartbeat from where he’s sitting or if he’s starting to go a little delirious from his cold. He finally chuckles, and asks: “How the hell do you do that?”

“What?” Carlos asks, though the corner of his mouth is turned up as he drives them back to his place. 

“You’re just…” TK trails off, shaking his head a bit as he smiles, too. “ **You’re so adorable.** ” 

Carlos blushes a bit, but he gestures toward his front door as they pull up in front of his house. “You’re not so bad yourself, baby.”

TK follows his gaze and sees at least a dozen bouquets of various flowers left near the front door, which is definitely more than he ordered but he’s happy with the mistake because Carlos lights up at the sight of them. And TK definitely isn’t mad at the sight of his boyfriend with his arms full of flowers in every hue of yellow and pink and red, and he demands to take a photo before he slumps into the house and drops onto the couch. 

Even though he doesn’t want to, he definitely feels the pull to fall asleep as his eyelids grow heavier. 

“I’m making this up to you,” TK says, once Carlos has put all of those flowers on the table and come to sit down next to him. Carlos hands him a couple Tylenol and TK hesitates for a brief moment before downing them, as he then moves to settle in close. 

“You really don’t have to,” Carlos insists, and TK hums and presses a quick kiss to his cheek before settling with his head on his boyfriend’s lap, immediately feeling a sense of calm as Carlos starts running his fingers through his hair. 

“I want to, when I'm not literally dying,” TK murmurs, leaning into Carlos’ touch. Carlos snorts a bit and continues with the gentle touches, practically lulling him to sleep. The jacket that Carlos gave him is just too big around the shoulders to be stupidly comfortable, and TK burrows into it as an added layer of love and warmth. “You’re never getting this back, by the way.” 

TK’s already mostly asleep as Carlos sweetly whispers, “that’s more than okay with me,” before he fondly looks down at his boyfriend, and leans back to get comfortable, more than happy to spend the night caring for the person he loves the most. 


	4. 60. "you look like you could use a hug"

After nearly six years, Carlos finds that it's impossible not to bring some baggage home from work, some nights. 

There's a heaviness that settles over him, sometimes, when he responds to particularly difficult calls. Like today, being called to his childhood neighbourhood was something he didn't ever expect — even though his mom moved his whole family further into the city when she got a transfer when he was twelve, it still shakes him up as he breaks up a domestic dispute in the front yard of a house directly across from where he grew up. Thankfully things don't get too ugly, but that coupled with the various close-calls he's come in contact with over the past few weeks, especially the few that have dealt with displaced kids, only adds to this weight he can't seem to shake that hangs heavy on him. 

And he's supposed to meet up with TK and the rest of his team, something that would usually motivate him to get through the day. While he's always looking forward to seeing his boyfriend, he finds himself caught up in his head. At this point, Carlos knows he's taking too long. 

He's been sitting in his car outside the bar they all frequent post-shift for almost ten minutes, trying to push his thoughts to the back of his mind as he wills himself to go in there with a brave face on, while he really just wants to go home and curl up in bed and sleep the terrible day off. He hates feeling negative about things, and he hates feeling the control he likes to keep on his life slip through his fingers, but today was rough. Plain and simple. And he knows that TK would understand if he cancelled, but he can't bring himself to bring his boyfriend's mood down, too. 

So Carlos heads inside. And surely enough, spotting TK before he sees him does send some warmth through him; he watches as TK laughs along with his team, before letting his gaze drift as if he's sweeping the room to look for him. TK's eyes finally lock on his and he waves at him, which Carlos effortlessly returns. He makes his way through the crowded room, stopping by the bar to order two mineral waters, smiling at the bartender and passing a tip over to her. He moves practically on auto-pilot as he moves toward TK, feeling like a moth drawn to the flame as his body keeps him on a direct path toward his boyfriend. A few of the others stall their conversation to welcome him, offering him pats on the shoulder or excitedly shouting his name if they're a couple rounds in. He returns their smiles and waves, deftly moving over to the table TK, Paul and Marjan are standing around. 

"Hey," TK smiles up at him, and Carlos feels even more of his tension dissolve when he sees those green eyes he loves so much meet his, all crinkly around the corners. Carlos slides an arm around TK's shoulders and presses a kiss to his temple, before placing their waters down on the table in front of him. "Thanks, babe. How was your shift?" 

Carlos shrugs, an attempt at trying to get the attention off of him. "Did I miss anything?" 

"Just Judd telling us about the one time that he had to pull a teenager from one of those baby swings at the park," TK says, grinning as he jerks his head in the direction of the others, who have erupted in loud laughter as Judd talks, waving his beer around as he animatedly recounts the story. Carlos smiles a little at the image, leaning against TK as Marjan jumps in with a story involving a scuba incident in Miami. TK's eyes hold on him for a long moment, and he nudges him a little. "Are you okay?" 

"Yeah, of course," Carlos says quickly, and he knows that TK sees right through him. He opens his mouth to say something else, probably to really press him on what's going on, when Carlos clears his throat roughly. He feels the weight crushing down on him, despite TK's presence. He presses forward and kisses him lightly on the mouth in a quick peck to try and reassure him. When he pulls back, TK still looks worried, his mouth pressed into a line, but Carlos rubs at the back of his neck. "I'm going to get some air." 

He slips away before TK can react, moving around the small groups of people filling up the bar and slowly drifting toward the dance floor. Carlos pushes through the door that leads out to the back parking lot, where a few picnic tables sit. They're usually occupied by smokers or cooks on their breaks, but for now they're empty, and Carlos sighs as he sits down on one of the benches, running a hand down his face. 

" **You look like you could use a hug**." 

His boyfriend's familiar voice startles Carlos from staring off into space, and he turns around to watch TK approaching slowly, hands tucked into the pocket of his hoodie. He stands up as he watches TK move even closer. He's scuffing his shoe against the gravel, and there's a furrow between his eyebrows and Carlos' stomach twists up more over the obvious signs of worry on his boyfriend's face. 

"I definitely wouldn't turn one down," Carlos says, aiming for a light tone of voice only for his words to come out kind of hollow and sad. TK closes the distance between them, practically knocking him off his feet as one of TK’s strong arms hooks around his neck while the other curls around his back, pulling him close enough to tuck his face into his neck. 

“Is everything okay?” TK asks, his voice a whisper as he says the words into his skin. “Seriously, you can talk to me.” 

Carlos sighs. “Just a rough day. You know how it is.”

TK hums. “I do. And I know it’s shitty feeling alone on them, too, and I don’t want you to feel that way.” 

“Thanks, Ty,” Carlos murmurs, tightening his hold as he curls his arms around his boyfriend in an even stronger embrace. Then he completely unloads everything he’s feeling; all the stress and the calls that don’t seem to stop. He knows that it’s what he signed up for, and he tells TK that, but he hates feeling helpless. He takes a deep breath, after, finding it comforting to still be held by his boyfriend. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be pushing you away in there—”

“No, hey,” TK pulls away from the hug, only to frame Carlos’ face between his hands. “I just want you to know that I’m here for you. Always. Don’t apologize for...coping how you cope. I get it.” 

“We’ve just been slammed for the past little while, and it’s like these calls are weighing me down.” Carlos shrugs a little, feeling calm as TK runs a thumb along his jawline, mimicking what Carlos usually does to talk TK down in his moments of anxiety. “But talking with you has made it better.” 

The corner of TK’s mouth quirks up. “Well, I’m always here to listen. How about we get out of here? We can just go for a drive or watch a movie or something.” 

“You’re sure?” Carlos asks, because he knows how much TK cherishes unwinding from a busy day with his team. But he’s nodding before Carlos can finish getting the words out of his mouth. 

“Totally,” TK says, moving forward to kiss Carlos, properly, unlike the peck from before. “They’ll understand. I guess having the same life experiences as your friends pays off, sometimes.” 

“I love you,” Carlos whispers, before kissing him again. Sometimes he just likes saying it to TK because he can; he especially loves the way TK squirms a bit, biting back a smile as he itches to say it back. Which he does, practically right into the kiss, and Carlos allows himself to sink into it, feeling secure in knowing that TK will be there for him, and continue to be there for him, no matter what. 


	5. 25. "what the hell were you thinking?"

Both of them having risky jobs is something that they’ve had to come to terms with. 

It doesn’t, however, mean that either one of them enjoys it.  _ Especially  _ when the other is left helpless, forced to watch and trust that they’ll be okay. Which is where Carlos is at right now, incessantly tapping his foot as he tries to actually do his job and keep bystanders back, while also submitting to his need to know if TK’s okay. They talk about these things, it’s one of the pillars of their relationship that seems to grow stronger every day, and Carlos knows that his boyfriend is good at what he does. But it doesn’t take away from the gnawing nervousness and sense of unease that settles over him, all curled up in the pit of his stomach ever since he heard from Michelle that Owen sent TK and Marjan in for the rescue, since they confirmed signs of life five minutes ago. 

“You need to breathe,” Michelle tells him, as she lingers at his side, waiting for the family trapped in the bellows of the house fire to be retrieved by the team so she can check them over. She has her supplies bag hiked up high on her shoulder, and has both ambulances prepped for a quick transfer to the nearest hospital. Carlos side-eyes her, but when she lifts a brow at him in retaliation, he sighs and makes a big show of inhaling deeply. 

“I’m fine,” Carlos says, walking in step with her closer to the scene, offering an added presence of authority to hopefully enforce the border between the still-smoking house and the neighbours trying to get a better look. Michelle stops a safe distance away from the house, locking eyes and nodding toward Captain Strand before she glances back at her best friend. 

“I know you’re freaking out,” Michelle’s voice is very matter-of-fact, and yet is somehow also comforting; it helps when she reaches down and squeezes his hand. “You don’t need me to tell you this, but TK and Marjan have good heads on their shoulders, they’re going to be fine.”

Carlos presses his lips together. “I know that  _ logically,  _ chica. It still stresses me out, though.” 

“If it helps at all, they just located the kids,” Paul seems to come out of nowhere as he speaks, but Carlos happily welcomes him as he taps his radio as an explanation. Marjan’s voice, small and sort of echoey through the speaker, suddenly spills out onto the street, as she reports to Owen that they’re making their way out of the house. 

“What about the parents?” Carlos asks, suddenly wishing he hadn’t even brought it up with Marjan’s startled voice comes through next, as she half-shouts:  _ TK, get your ass back here!  _

Paul’s eyes meet his, both of them alarmed, and Michelle’s fingers squeeze his. 

“Marjan, tell me what’s going on in there,” Owen says, voice strained but still somehow steady as his fire-captain tone emerges. All of them have stepped right into the main fold of the 126 as they linger by the ladder-truck, the same look of worry stamped onto all of their faces. “Marjan?” 

“Sorry, Cap,” Marjan sounds a little more breathless than before. “TK went into the southside of the house which we couldn’t confirm was stabilized before and—and I lost sight of him. I still have the kids with me.” 

“Get them out, now,” Owen’s jaw clenches, gloved fingers tightening around his radio. “TK?” 

It takes a few moments, but the other end of the line does crackle. Finally, TK’s voice comes through, and Carlos feels the briefest release of pure relief. 

“I’m good, Cap,” is all that TK gets out as a response, before there’s even more crackling. 

“Get out of there now, both of you,” Owen says, voice dripping with unease. The others shift nervously all around them, forming a semi-circle around the captain. Carlos looks down at the grass under his feet, scuffing his shoe for a moment before he meets Michelle’s eyes. She mimes breathing, swooping her palm in an elegant motion towards her chest as she inhales and pushing her hand downwards as she exhales through her parted lips. She does it again, quirking yet another brow at him, and he mimics her. 

While Marjan speaks out an affirmative, TK says, as if it’s no big deal, “I might be a few minutes, Cap. I’m making my way out with the parents, and I have one unconscious male.”

“TK—” 

“On my way,” TK says, and Carlos’ stomach twists. Someone should be helping him;  _ he  _ could be helping him, but Michelle seems to read his mind because she curls her fingers tight around his wrist and holds on. 

Marjan appears in the front door, two young children in tow. Paul and Mateo run forward to help them down, and Michelle jumps into action with her team. Carlos watches in awe as they work deftly and seamlessly, bringing up oxygen masks to cover the young girls’ mouths and checking their pulses. Marjan’s eyes flash with nervousness as she rips off her helmet once she’s ensured the kids are going to be okay, no doubt directing it towards TK’s recklessness. And coming from the queen of viral stunts herself, that’s saying something. Carlos finds himself agreeing wholeheartedly. 

“I’m going back in to help,” Marjan says defiantly, pulling her helmet back on, despite the beginning of Owen’s order to stand down. She’s already made a few more steps toward the house when three figures appear; she instantly moves forward and helps the woman down from the porch, while TK carries all of the man’s weight. Michelle waves her team over and Tim wheels a stretcher up, all of them counting down from three before hoisting the man up. A neck brace is secured around him as Michelle speaks calmly and clearly calls the shots, checking his vitals. TK stands back, pulling off his helmet, and Carlos steps into his space. 

“Hey,” TK smiles at him, looking a little sweaty and streaked with soot, and Carlos pulls him close. He’s happy that he’s okay, and that he helped save the whole family, but his chest is still tight with fear over how risky the whole situation was.

“ **What the hell were you thinking?** ” Carlos asks, voice rough with emotion that has kind of crept up on him. TK’s eyebrows immediately pinch together, worried at his tone but also probably the unfaltering nervousness written all over his face. TK opens his mouth to speak, but not before Marjan siddles up next to them, looking equally pissed. 

“I second that,” she says, crossing her arms over her chest. “Dude, you gotta talk to me. I thought…” 

Marjan trails off, shaking her head, and Carlos closes his eyes. 

“We’re a team, we’re a family. We work  _ together,  _ man,” Marjan continues, and by now, she’s got a hand on TK’s forearm. “I won’t lose you.”

Before TK really bonded with this team, he might’ve rolled his eyes; but Carlos knows how much he cares for everyone, and has forged special relationships with each person from the 126. Carlos knows how deeply TK cares for Marjan as a friend, and his face seems to crumble at the sight of her pain, and within seconds of the last of her words coming out he’s got his arms wrapped around her in a hug. 

“You’re right,” TK mumbles, and Carlos’ breath catches as he watches the two of them. “I’m sorry, Marj.” 

“It’s okay, dumbass,” Marjan says, but she’s squeezing him tight. After a moment or two, she pats him on the back and pulls away. “I’m going to go chill Cap out so you guys can have a sec.” 

Marjan gives Carlos a sympathetic look and a nod, and Carlos returns it, before she slips away and TK steps even closer. 

“I’m sorry,” TK says, and Carlos makes a small noise. “I mean, I’m not sorry about saving them. But I’m sorry for—for freaking you out.” 

“Scaring us shitless, really,” Carlos mutters, and TK smiles a little but he still refuses to meet Carlos’ eyes fully. “Hey, I get it. I don’t want you to feel bad, Ty.” 

Carlos cups TK’s cheek and traces along his cheekbone with his thumb, watching as TK sinks into the touch. 

“I don’t want you to feel like this either,” TK whispers.

Carlos knows in that instant he isn’t really mad at all, just dealing with the suddenness of his anxiety and relief mixing. He keeps touching his boyfriend gently, keeping in mind where they are and the jobs they both have to finish, though he plans to stay lost in this moment as long as he can. He takes a deep breath, hearing Michelle's voice in his head, and comfort washes over him just by having his boyfriend within reach. “Just try not to send me to an early grave, okay? And I’ll do the same.” 

TK smiles more, and ducks his chin enough to kiss Carlos’ wrist. 

“I think that’s a reasonable deal.”


	6. 13. "i won't let anyone hurt you, you're safe with me"

“I can’t believe you’ve never watched it!” 

Carlos laughs at TK’s bewilderment over his supposed lack of knowledge of pop culture; he’s been lecturing him on the art of trashy slasher movies for the better part of an hour, and Carlos is just completely enamoured by him and the way he talks with his hands and wears his heart on his sleeve — even if the topic is something as mundane as Carlos’ movie-watching history. He steps out of the cafe as TK holds the door open for him, smiling in thanks as they begin to move in sync toward the location of the second half of their date. 

“It can’t be that good,” Carlos says, teasing as they come to a stop near the curb, waiting for traffic to clear. 

TK gives him a look. “It’s  _ terrible,  _ which makes it amazing. And now I know what our next date night is.” 

“I’d love that,” Carlos admits, because it’s  _ true.  _ Now he feels inexplicably warm at the ease and excitement with which TK talks about future dates. They’d gone on one officially, after talking things through and deciding to give an actual relationship a chance, and it’d been a simple night in at Carlos’ place because TK was still on strict orders from his doctor to not burst his stitches. Again. And now today has truly solidified the fact that Carlos _really_ likes TK, especially as he gets to know him better. Honestly, he probably likes him a stupid amount. And the way that TK talks about the fact that they're going to have a future together with such sureness and certainty makes Carlos almost feel giddy. 

That feeling starts to dry up a bit, though, as they get closer to the non-descript restaurant that they’d be meeting TK’s team in within minutes. He takes a shaky breath because while he knows most of the 126 and gets along with them all, this will be the first time that TK’s making it clear that they’re together. In public, without any reservations.

“Hey,” TK says, voice dropped down as they linger outside, near the door. He grips Carlos’ hand in his and threads their fingers together. “Are you okay?” 

“Yeah,” Carlos tries to assure him that he  _ is,  _ he’s just a little caught up in his head. The team likes him, he knows, but what if they’re hesitant about him and TK dating? He’s heard of stranger things happening. “I just hope that they’re cool with us, you know?” 

“Aw, I know that they can be a little much, but they love you,” TK says, swiping his thumb across Carlos’ knuckles. A mischievous smile pulls at the corner of his mouth, as he pulls Carlos closer so they’re practically chest-to-chest. “Don’t worry, babe.  **I won’t let anyone hurt you, you’re safe with me.** ” 

Carlos rolls his eyes at TK’s teasing voice. TK just grins, before he curls one arm around Carlos’ neck. TK kisses him, barely a quick press of his lips as a reassurance before he continues: “I’m serious. I’m sure about this, about you — that’s all that matters. Not that you’ll have to worry, because I think they love you more than me sometimes.” 

“No way,” Carlos mutters, pressing his thumb to the corner of TK’s mouth, just dazed at him in the situation. TK shrugs and tilts his chin up, and Carlos doesn’t have to be told twice, ducking down to kiss him properly. “If it counts, I’m sure about you, too.” 

“Sap,” TK grins, kissing him twice in quick succession before he pulls back, directing them back toward the entrance of the restaurant. “Ready?” 

Carlos nods, and immediately feels some pressure ease up when he sees just how low-key the place is. There’s a dining room with low lighting, but most of the space is occupied by a bar. A band is playing oldies in the corner and Judd’s loud voice summons them over to the three tables they’re occupying. Carlos shakes his head at his past worry because how could he ever think these people wouldn’t welcome him with open arms, even as TK’s boyfriend? 

He settles an arm over TK’s shoulders, and he takes the small moment they have before they reach the group to meet his gaze. TK nudges him a little, giving him that private smile of his, reaching up and squeezing his hand that hovers subconsciously over TK’s fading scar. 

“Hey, lover boys, are you going to join us or what?” Paul calls out, a few of the others joining in with their own elevated voices. TK grins and holds up one finger to his friends —  _ their  _ friends — before pulling Carlos toward the bar. 

“Mineral water, please,” TK says, flashing a smile to the bartender. She nods and moves her gaze toward Carlos. 

“And you, doll?” She asks, already filling a glass with ice. Her grey hair is intricately braided atop her head and she offers him a motherly smile. 

“I’ll have the same,” Carlos returns her smile and pulls out his wallet. TK gives him a look, and Carlos shrugs. “What?” 

“I don’t mind if you drink around me, you know,” TK says, and Carlos takes his hand and gives him a comforting squeeze. 

“I know, I just want you to be comfortable,” Carlos explains, before he echoes TK as they thank the bartender, turning in unison as they start toward the tables in the back. “Besides, I want to be grounded and be here for you. I don't need to drink to have fun with you.” 

TK gives him a soft smile, and something flashes in his eyes that tells Carlos that nobody’s done this for him before. It breaks him a little, deep in his core, and TK smiles as he bites at the end of his straw. Carlos pulls him close, both of them anchoring one another as they take their place at the table, wedged between Marjan and Owen. 

They talk for what seems like hours, all sharing stories of their craziest calls. Carlos immediately feels brought into the fold, even more than before when he just knew the crew from brief encounters in the bar or responding to the same emergencies. He throws the same teasing jokes around that the others do, and TK keeps him in the loop when the conversation turns to something that’s going on in the inner-workings of the 126. After a while, Carlos is happy to just sit back and watch them as they speak over each other and seem to have many side-conversations, resembling a family more and more with every passing moment. 

“You know, you’re good for him,” Judd says, when they’ve both drawn the short stick and have been sent off to order the next round of drinks. 

“Thanks, man,” Carlos stares down at the bar for a second, before meeting the taller man’s eyes. “I think he’s really good for me, too.”

The corner of Judd’s mouth turns up. “Damn straight.” 

By the end of the night, TK’s been absentmindedly rubbing his thumb over Carlos’ knuckles for nearly half an hour, just constantly seeking out some form of touch. They get lost in each other’s eyes, a couple of times, and someone makes a comment about their mushiness and lovesickness but Carlos brushes it off because he’s pretty sure he’s never felt about anyone like this before. 

Even more than before, Carlos feels sure in himself both in this relationship and amongst the team, and when TK presses his back against Carlos' chest he's quick to throw an arm around his boyfriend. When he feels the other man let out a soft sound and settle against him, Carlos presses a kiss to his temple, smiling against his hair as they wrap themselves up in one another, TK punctuating it all with a kiss to Carlos' knuckles, practically wrapping their night up in a bow. 

And it's one that Carlos won't forget for a long time. 


	7. 1. "i love you, please don't go" & 2. "stay here tonight"

TK is surprised over how much has changed in the span of three months. 

For starters, he’s starting to feel completely open and ready to forge a permanent place for himself in Austin; TK hadn’t realized how constrained by the pressures and expectations of New York he’d felt until he experienced life with a crew like the 126. It also helped that he was able to accept and recognize the pain he was running from, and even though he still goes to therapy and meetings, he’s actively choosing things that makes him happy: like welcoming the love from Carlos and all too quickly confronting the part of his brain that told him to hide from the feelings he was very quickly developing in return. And things have been going  _ well,  _ now that his secrets are mostly out there in the eyes of the team and his dad’s health is starting to stabilize, slowly but surely, even though he’ll be facing down treatment for an undetermined amount of months to come. 

But now, he’s starting to have regrets about developing these friendships. All because of Grace Ryder, of all people.

Well, not really. TK loves the woman, often joking that he prefers her company over Judd’s, but when she brings childhood stories into the mix of conversation over drinks at their usual hangout after a long shift, he feels betrayed. It isn’t solely her fault — he totally blames his dad, and it starts when he gives him a  _ look  _ as he stirs the wedge of lemon into his water. Mateo jumps in, talking about touring firehouses with his school as a kid, propelling his lifelong desire to be a firefighter, and TK smiles at the way he always talks so passionately about what they do. But when his dad gives him a wink, a feeling of dread starts swirling in his stomach, and TK opens his mouth to stop Owen from doing what he's about to do. But it’s too late. 

“Did I ever tell you guys about how TK told me he wanted to be a firefighter?” Owen asks, and Marjan immediately throws a devilish grin his way and nudges TK’s side, before she and the others start egging his father on. 

TK runs a hand down his face. “They don’t need to—” 

“Hey, guys,” a familiar voice says from behind him, and TK exhales in relief because Carlos has come at the perfect time. A few of the others offer him greetings, and he turns and smiles softly at his boyfriend, heart beating a little faster as Carlos meets his gaze. The other day, Paul told him that they just exude __ being in the honeymoon phase, but TK doesn’t care, gladly shuffling over to make room for Carlos. His boyfriend immediately touches him, arm thrown over his shoulders, thumb dragging along the bare skin of his bicep just under the cuff of his sleeve, and TK almost forgets where the conversation was heading. 

_ Almost _ . 

“What’s going on?” Carlos asks, and TK locks eyes with his father as he starts smiling. 

“I was just about to tell everyone about a little six-year-old TK,” Owen starts, and TK buries his face in his hands as the story starts. And his dad doesn’t shy away from any of the details: a tiny TK following his dad around the apartment, or the firehouse when he got to go after school, copying everything and anything his dad did. And it got to a point where TK refused to speak unless it was as if he was responding to a call from “dispatch” — always calling out random phrases he’d picked up out of context when Owen was working. 

“Aw, baby,” Carlos murmurs, mostly into his ear as the others voice their well-meaning, teasing jests. 

Ignoring his boyfriend, TK groans, “Dad—”

“It’s my job to embarrass you, kid,” Owen interrupts. “It’s out of love.” 

He accepts that this is where the night is going when the others start lovingly sharing their own stories of TK from the months they’ve shared together; it isn’t until Carlos joins in that TK starts making a show of leaving the table, much to the dismay of the team as they start calling him to return. Before he can even get out of his chair, still smiling because this shit doesn’t  really  mess with him too much, despite the embarrassment caused by his own father, of all people, Carlos all but exclaims, “Hey,  **I love you, please don’t go** .” 

Those first three words hit TK and he doesn’t hear anything else. He holds Carlos’ gaze and his boyfriend doesn’t falter, he just gives him a sincere look and TK’s heart starts racing. He wants to say it back but he doesn’t want to have this conversation in front of literally everyone he knows. 

“I’m staying, I’m staying,” TK jokes, trying to keep it light even though Carlos is still holding him close to him. “Alright, my turn to tell you guys about my lovely father attending his first pride parade.” 

The look Owen gives him, immediately remembering the day and where the story is going, makes everything totally worth it. 

* * *

“Hey, is everything okay?” Carlos asks, once they’ve gotten back to his place and are pointedly  _ not  _ talking about Carlos’ _I-love-you_ slip earlier. 

“Yeah. I mean, it’s not everyday that your dad embarrasses you in front of everyone you know in the entire  _ state, _ ” TK still doesn’t know how to feel about the situation. The stories from the team were harmless and actually exposed his admittedly less then brilliant moments, but his dad’s seems to be affecting him more because he doesn't know how his boyfriend will take to learning about his childhood. Even if he got to tell the whole team about the time he was brought onto a float and serenaded by a drag queen in front of thousands of people, and a sixteen-year-old TK, who filmed the entire thing. 

Carlos frowns at him a little, bringing him back into the moment. “If it changes anything, I thought it was cute.” 

TK lifts an eyebrow at him, crossing his arms tighter across his chest. In a deadpan voice, he retorts: “Really?” 

“Yeah,” Carlos sounds earnest, like always, and TK immediately knows he isn’t lying. He cups his face in his hands and rubs his thumbs gently along his cheekbones, quickly pressing a kiss to his lips. “I mean, we all have embarrassing stories, Ty. It was kind of nice to learn more about you. I want to keep learning more about you, if you’ll let me.” 

His hands settle on TK’s shoulders, before dragging them down over his arms, gently uncrossing them so he can hold his hands.

“I was admittedly a fucking adorable kid,” TK mutters, drawing a grin out of Carlos. “I hope you know that in retaliation I’m pulling  _ all  _ the stories out of your mom when I meet her.” 

“You want to meet my mom?” Carlos asks, still smiling at him. TK bites at the inside of his cheek and slowly nods, the corner of his mouth quirking up. “Well, I’m sure she’ll be more than happy to pull out all of the scrapbooks. I hated it, but she loved to document my awkward high school phase.” 

“Somehow you and  _ awkward  _ just doesn’t make sense,” TK teases, but he softens his gaze as he squeezes Carlos’ fingers back. “I can’t wait to learn more about you, too.” 

Carlos pulls him close and kisses him deeply. TK grins into it because kissing Carlos never fails to make him feel like he’s floating. Gently knocking their foreheads together, Carlos pulls back to breathe, quietly asking: “ **Stay here tonight** ?” 

TK nods, chasing his boyfriend’s mouth. Their lips still mostly pressed together, TK tries for nonchalance as he says, “You know, you told me you loved me earlier.” 

“I do,” Carlos cradles the back of his head, and TK’s breath catches. “You don’t have to say it ba—”

“I love you, too,” TK says quickly, grinning as Carlos’ eyes light up at the declaration. He doesn’t question it as the words tumble out because it’s true, and it’s worth it as Carlos hugs him tight before practically devouring him in another kiss, nothing but happiness lighting TK up from the inside out. 


	8. 21. "we'll figure this out" & 22. "this isn't goodbye"

They take pride in their relationship. 

It’s obvious to most who know them, and even those who just view them from a distance; TK and Carlos are effortlessly comfortable around one another, able to give each other exactly what they need. They’ve been going strong for the past five months, ever since TK refused to let his fear of vulnerability and heartbreak tamper down the fact that all he wanted was to let Carlos in. They rarely fight, they tease one another, they’re compatible in every possible way — and so it comes as a shock to almost everyone when TK storms into the firehouse one morning in a less than pleasant mood. 

Owen’s leaning against the kitchen counter when he spots him coming in. “Hey, kid—” 

“Not now, dad, please,” TK snaps, voice wavering as he heads for the locker room. Paul’s eyebrows immediately shoot upward as he glances at TK’s retreating back before moving his gaze to focus on Owen. Over the rim of his coffee mug, Owen shares his confused look. 

“Didn’t he stay with Carlos last night?” Paul asks, and Owen nods. Not only is this mood strange enough for TK, but for him to be coming from his boyfriend’s house and being anything less than almost annoyingly moon-eyed and completely smitten was something out of a parallel universe. “I gotta say, those two experiencing some rocky waters was not something I was ever expecting to see.” 

Owen nods in agreement. “I’m sure we’ll see some sort of reconciliation by noon.” 

Only, much to the surprise of the whole team, it never comes. Even though they see Carlos and his partner during multiple calls throughout the shift, TK mostly avoids any and all officers, opting to hang out by the rig when they were all waiting around for scenes to be cleared. Carlos appears to be looking just as exhausted as TK does, both of them with bruising bags under their eyes and a sort of stiffness that they all notice, but refuse to comment on. Eventually, Owen has to speak with the man he was starting to see as another son, as APD arrives first on the scene of a pile-up near the off-ramp of the highway. 

They finish up the rescue easily enough, and TK keeps himself busy with Judd, but Owen catches him glancing over at his boyfriend more than once. When Owen speaks with Carlos before rallying his team and heading out, Carlos surprises him by frowning a bit, and shaking the man’s hand. 

“I’m afraid this will be our last time working together for a little while, sir,” Carlos says, and Owen cocks his head in confusion. Carlos quickly clarifies, lowering his voice even though there’s only other team members around them. “I’m being sent on an undercover operation. Six months minimum.” 

“Oh,” Owen finds himself speechless, because his son’s sour mood suddenly makes a lot of sense, as does Carlos’ kicked-puppy look. 

Carlos starts staring at the ground, clearing his throat. “I should, uh, I should really get going.” 

“Stay safe, son,” Owen makes sure Carlos is looking right at him as he says it, and when the other man nods, and slowly retreats to his cruiser, Owen meets his son’s eyes and a current of understanding passes between them. TK’s jaw clenches as he turns away and pulls himself into the rig. 

Back at the station, after several more calls that take up most of the afternoon, TK tries to avoid him; Owen doesn’t let it happen. 

“TK, my office,” Owen says, as the others are beelining for the kitchen. When TK opens his mouth to probably talk his way out of it, Owen starts heading up the stairs, calling out, “Now.” 

“So I’m guessing he told you?” TK asks, once he’s closed the door to his father’s office. He crosses his arms over his chest as he sits in the chair across from Owen’s desk, sinking in on himself and otherwise completely defensive. Owen sighs. 

“He did. Is this why you’ve been acting out all day?” Owen asks, cocking a brow at his son. 

TK sinks lower into the seat. “Sorry about that. I’m just…”

Owen leans against the desk, waiting his kid out. He’s familiar with it, knowing TK’s coping mechanisms and his resistance when it comes to opening up about what’s really bugging him, especially something like this. 

“He only told me about it last night,” TK says, rubbing at the back of his neck. “He didn’t want to stress me out, I guess? But now I don’t know what’s going to happen with  _ us,  _ and I got pissed at him for avoiding this since he found out last week.”

“I think you oughta go and talk to him, kid,” Owen’s voice is soft and steady, and when TK shifts uncomfortably in the chair but also meets his gaze, he continues on. “And you don’t have to tell them everything, but maybe talk to the team, too. They’ve been worried about you all day.” 

“Yeah,” TK says quietly, voice breaking. He clears his throat and says it again, before adding: “He’s leaving tomorrow morning.” 

"You better get going, then,” Owen says, glancing at the clock high on the wall, as the time shifts to  _ 6:17.  _

TK heaves out a sigh before nodding, coming around to hug his dad quickly before starting toward the door. He pops his head back in, fingers curled around the doorframe, as he smiles a little at Owen. “Thanks, dad. I’ll text you later.” 

Before turning back to paperwork, Owen smiles at his son, and says, "You better." 

* * *

TK ends up sitting on Carlos’ front step, and waiting. 

Carlos had told him he’d be home soon, and that TK could let himself into the house, but TK is too antsy for that; at least by sitting and stewing in his own thoughts outside, staring up at the purple sky as orange bleeds into it along the horizon, it offers him something to focus on. His hands tremble a bit, and he nervously squeezes them into fists, blunt nails digging crescents into his palms as he taps his foot against the cement. He  pulls up soon enough, and TK takes a deep breath. Even with this tension radiating between them, he’s still comforted by his boyfriend being back in his presence. The thought of losing this sends a flare of panic through his chest as Carlos slowly walks up to him, his bag slung over his shoulder and civilian clothes on. 

“Hey,” TK says, standing to meet his boyfriend. Carlos offers him a small smile, but his eyes still look so sad, and knowing that he’s part of the reason for that makes his heart ache. 

“Hey, Ty,” Carlos responds, a little hollow, and TK closes his eyes when he passes by him, their shoulders brushing for half a second. He opens up his door and tosses his bag into the foyer, but before TK can follow him inside he’s closing and locking the door up again. “Want to go for a drive?” 

It’s code for:  _ let’s go somewhere and talk and get through this.  _ TK swallows and nods, and after a mostly silent trip out of Carlos’ neighbourhood and out of the most bustling part of the city, TK figures out where they’re headed once they slip onto one of the quieter country roads. He stares out of the window as the scenery turns more rustic, trees lining them on either side of the road until they’re close to the field next to the escarpment, where they spent several hours after the solar storm when they finally admitted that they’d wanted to try out a relationship, for real. They’ve come here a couple times since then, and it’s only fitting that this is where Carlos would want to bring him to talk about the shitty situation they’re in. He's thrown back to his plentiful past breakups, where less stressful events have lead to heartbreak, and another layer of panic settles in. 

They don’t sit on the hood, this time; a cold front has moved in over the past couple days, and because of it they stay put in their seats, just watching the last rays of sunset as they wait for the other to start talking. TK figures it’s on him, and so he starts with, “I’m sorry for being a dick last night.” 

“You don’t have to apologize, I get it,” Carlos whispers, drumming his thumb against the steering wheel. TK tracks the motion so he doesn’t have to look his boyfriend in the eyes. “I shouldn’t have waited to tell you.” 

TK bites the inside of his cheek. “I’m just — fuck, Carlos, I don’t know what to do.” 

“Me neither, Ty,” Carlos says, and TK finally meets his eyes when he feels a hand against his forearm. “But I know that  **we’ll figure this out** . We always do, don’t we?”

“What if we can’t, this time?” TK asks, shaking his head at the burning behind his eyes. “I don’t want to lose you.” 

“You won’t.” 

“You can’t know that for sure,” TK looks at him desperately. “I mean, an undercover operation? There's so many uncertainties, and you aren't even a detective yet, and what if—"

Carlos makes a small sound in the back of his throat. “I volunteered, Ty, because I can’t sit back when I know I can help. And I hate that doing this hurts you, I really fucking do. I just want you to know that I’m coming back. To  _ you,  _ I hope, because you mean too much to me to just let this go.” 

“And here I was thinking you’d want to break up with me,” TK says with a humourless laugh, shrugging a shoulder. “It’d be the easiest thing.” 

“It would be the  _ hardest  _ thing, TK,” Carlos looks pained as he speaks, and TK finally,  _ finally,  _ takes his hand. “And I hate that people have done that to you in the past. But I don’t plan on being like that. You have to know that.” 

“I do,” TK says, finding that deep inside himself he knows it’s the truth. “And I don’t want to do that to you, either.” 

Without saying the words, it’s obvious in a second that the fight — if it could be called that — has been resolved. TK shifts as close as he can, pressing a kiss to the underside of Carlos’ jaw. 

“We’re going to get through this,” TK says, surely, sniffing a little when Carlos roughly wipes at his own eyes. “ **This isn’t goodbye** .”

And when Carlos squeezes his hand, he’s quick to reciprocate. It quickly evolves into a hug, and TK buries his face in Carlos’ neck, and despite the dread still swirling in his stomach, he’s determined to hold him tight for as long as he can. 


	9. 5. "don't you love me?"

Of all the things that TK loves about their relocation to Austin, one of the best has to be the cookouts. 

They seem to be a tradition, especially for Judd and Grace, who often invite the whole crew over when they’re off-shift and looking for the chance to relax. Usually, someone already has plans, and it’s never the complete team spending their evenings together — but tonight, for the first time in a while, they’re all off, free, and ready to devour Grace’s cooking. Judd looks at him all knowingly, telling him that he can bring the cop if he wants, and TK does, in fact, want to, so he does. They’ve been going strong for a few months and the 126 already loves Carlos, and that much is proven when they walk through the side-gate to get into Judd and Grace’s back yard, and half of his team immediately flocks over to talk to Carlos. 

TK would be jealous, but who can blame the others? They’re his family, and Judd’s already threatened to give Carlos the shovel talk despite TK’s  _ many  _ protests, and all-in-all they get along. TK passes a bouquet of flowers over to Grace, who’s chatting with Michelle near some of the lawn games they have set up. Grace hugs him close and reaches up to kiss his cheek, giving him that warm smile that manages to enchant anyone who comes across the woman. 

“It’s nice that you guys are all so close,” Carlos observes, after they’ve found some free seats and Grace has refused to let them help with anything. TK hums in agreement. 

“It really does feel like we’re just some big family, most of the time.” TK shrugs, and watches his boyfriend as he’s taking everyone in around them. 

Carlos smiles contentedly at him, and squeezes TK’s hand, as their fingers are still threaded as they have been since they sat down. Eventually Judd calls out that the food’s ready and for everyone to dig in, which they do. Owen comes to talk to them while they eat, eventually drawing Marjan and Mateo into the fold, as well. Little groups have splintered off across the yard as people share stories over their dinner, and everyone laughs as Marjan recounts some daring mission she once was a part of in Miami, which in turn was recorded and shared half a million times within twenty-four hours. TK listens, smiling at his friend’s story, sitting back and letting the comfort of being around all the people he loves most relax him deep in his bones after a long shift. 

Things quickly pick up after dinner, however. 

“Don’t tell me you’ve never taught your son the art of cornhole, Cap,” Judd says, arms curled securely around his wife’s waist. 

Owen throws his hands up in the air. “Life is different in Manhattan, what can I say?” 

Now Carlos throws a surprised look at TK. “Really? You’ve never played?” 

Before TK can answer, Judd quickly jumps in. 

“Us Texans might have to show them a thing or two,” Judd’s shit-eating grin appears, as everyone starts to pick up on the conversation. Owen agrees to a game, and TK shakes his head a little but stands next to his dad, listening as Judd quickly does a rundown of how the game works. TK figures it really can’t be that hard, and locks eyes with Judd. 

“Let’s do this, cowboy Judd,” TK huffs out a little laugh when someone lets out an excited  _ woo!  _ behind them, and people step forward to join the game. 

Marjan and Paul join their team. Judd’s joined by Michelle, who gives them a competitive wink, and Nancy. TK makes a dramatic show of gasping to show his feeling of betrayal when Judd calls for one more teammate, and Carlos volunteers. 

“ **Don’t you love me?** ” TK asks, as Carlos steps closer to Michelle. He tries pouting at his boyfriend, but Carlos shakes his head, a little smirk in place. He turns back into TK’s space just for a moment, and TK bites back a goofy smile as his boyfriend’s thumb runs along his shoulder.

“Of course I do, Ty,” Carlos says, sincerely, and TK swallows a little at the earnest look in his eyes. And then Carlos steps back to grab the blue beanbags for his team to use. “But I want to be on the winning team, so.” 

Carlos punctuates it with a shrug, finally walking over to Michelle, who grins at him. Judd smacks him appreciatively on the shoulder, and Carlos' gaze stays playful even from across the yard. 

TK gathers up the red beanbags for his team. He makes sure he catches Carlos’ eyes as he mirrors his teasing look, as he calls out, “You’re on, Reyes!” 

Carlos laughs, and he's so beautiful it almost distracts TK from the matter at hand. He’s only slightly worried about losing. His dad’s good at golf and has generally decent depth perception, but TK knows he and Marjan and Paul stick out like sore thumbs; not only are they not Texas natives, but they’d all literally learned what this game was twenty minutes ago, and didn’t grow up perfecting their skills — as most of their opposing team apparently has. 

He’s right about his dad being their best player; he gets them points right away, and Marjan’s not too bad either. It takes her a few throws, but eventually she perfects it, and confidently accepts applause when she gets them another few points. TK’s pretty terrible, he’s come to learn that he’s really not the most gifted when it comes to sports, and Paul gets by. Near the end of the game, the focus has mostly dropped down to just having fun and being plain stupid about their throws, even making up rules on the spot. Judd’s laugh is deep and can be heard probably a block away, and Carlos grins at him from across the way, and TK decides he’s content enough to watch the flex of his boyfriend’s arm as he perfects his throws with every passing round. 

It’s clear Judd’s team is going to win. It’s also clear that at this point, nobody really cares about it. 

“Now, pretty boy, I don’t want your feelings to get hurt,” Judd jokes, as he prepares his next throw. TK narrows his eyes at him as he expertly manages to get his team’s last beanbag into the hole, as cheers erupt around them from his team. “That’s how you do it, brother.” 

“Alright, this can be your thing, I’ll just continue to beat you at everything else.” TK teases back, effortlessly moving out of the way as Judd tries to move in close to ruffle up his hair. Carlos does move back into his space and TK loops his arm around the other man’s waist, keeping him close to his side. The others sort of dissipate, moving on to other games or to grab another drink or pick at the dessert that’s still left out. 

“I do love you, you know,” Carlos murmurs, as he presses a quick kiss to his temple. 

TK smiles as he feels Carlos’ arm settle over his shoulder. “I love you too.” 

“Even if you suck at cornhole.” Carlos adds, his eyes crinkling around the corners as he grins and squirms away from TK’s attempt to playfully jab him in the side. 

“Dick,” TK mutters, but Carlos is smiling into it when they kiss, and even as the others start yelling at them to get a room, he doesn’t care about anything else in the world. 


	10. 41. "don't be afraid" & 55. "i'm not going anywhere"

The solar storm ends up making things a living hell, for a little while. 

After the beauty of the lights strewn across the sky, an underlying sense of panic seemed to erupt all over Austin; everyone seemed to be wondering if another electrical event like that could happen again, and it takes several weeks for a sense of normalcy to enter their lives again. In that time, though, there’s an influx of calls at all hours, and TK feels bone-tired most days, dragging his feet when he’s finally off-shift and can go home to crash. 

He loves being a firefighter. Bursting his stitches so soon after getting them means he’s stuck at home longer than he would have wanted, so he’s antsy to get back into his uniform. But even he can admit that he’s been feeling drained, and he knows the rest of the team can feel it, too. He sometimes feels like that solar storm sort of helped jumpstart a new part of his life; there are still bad days, and he knows that there’s no chance of being magically cured of that. But he feels a sense of certainty, now, that he hasn’t really felt before; he’s got a proper family in the crew, and he goes with his dad to chemo appointments, which are wedged in between their shifts and his own therapy sessions. He feels good, but there’s only one issue: his relationship with Carlos. 

Not that there’s an actual  _ issue  _ with them — they’ve effectively started things over, secure in one another but taking things day by day. If there’s anything he’s the most certain about, it’s the promising road ahead that he sees with Carlos; he leaves TK feeling wanted and deserving of the love he showers him with, something he’s not really used to. They’re  _ good.  _ But the problem is that they’re both so busy with work that they’ve had to basically start their relationship over — can they even call it  _ starting over,  _ if they were never really officially together? — through text and phone calls and, if they’re lucky, when the 126 responds to the same calls as Carlos and his partner. It seems that the universe has thrown them the curveball of never actually having fully synched up schedules; TK has sort of begun to think that it’s a sign that they’ll never work out. 

They’d tried to plan out a good and honest and  _ proper  _ first date, but Carlos was suddenly slammed with a case and TK was healing and then he was back on the job, and it seems like with every passing day, their chance at actually sitting down together like normal people was becoming slimmer and slimmer. 

It’s a worry that TK voices to Carlos, when he strays away from the team who are bickering over something that has to do with lunch in the kitchen. He’s slumped down in one of the nice recliners his dad furnished the rec-room with, absently scratching behind Buttercup’s ears as he talks into his phone.

“I mean, I think the universe is telling us something,” TK half-jokes, and he hears Carlos sigh on the other line. 

“Well, maybe our luck just changed,” Carlos says, and TK perks up a little at that. 

When Carlos doesn’t immediately continue, dragging out his pause for dramatic effect, TK huffs and groans out his name, before adding: “You can’t leave me hanging like that.” 

Carlos chuckles, before he continues. 

“Thanks to Martinez, I’m now off for the rest of the night,” Carlos replies, and TK can’t help the grin that stretches out across his face, even though Carlos can’t see it. “I’ll have to stay late for her on the night of her cousin’s wedding, but it’s a good trade-off because  _ now  _ we can have our date.” 

“Are you asking me out, Reyes?” TK teases, even though they’ve been trying to find time for this dinner for almost three weeks. 

“Wasn’t it obvious?” Carlos throws back at him, and TK bites down on the inside of his cheek. 

"Well, I’d love to,” TK says, smiling a little as Buttercup’s head lolls toward him, tongue hanging out as he looks for more affection. “I’ll come to your place after my shift.” 

“I can’t wait,” Carlos’ voice sounds so bright and excited, that TK can’t tamper down the stupid acceleration of his heartbeat. 

He’s always so scared of running into things too fast, but he tries to tell himself that this is different. He  _ knows  _ it’s different, judging by the past eight months that they’ve danced around being something more. So TK lets himself feel excited. 

He lets himself admit, “me neither,” to a man he’s seriously falling for. 

TK doesn’t try to hide his smile as he pockets his phone and pats his leg, whistling lowly for Buttercup to follow him as he goes off to see if his team’s actually figured out lunch yet. Glancing at his watch,  _ 1:09  _ blinks back at him. He a little less than four hours left. He knows he’ll be counting down every second. 

* * *

TK ends up running late. 

He’s cursing under his breath as they come back from a call almost half an hour after their shift ends; obviously, he’s thankful that it was nothing serious, but waiting for the all clear to be officially called so they can head out is almost painful. Marjan makes a face at him because she knows that he’s got a hot date waiting for him, and TK lovingly rolls his eyes at her. 

They get back to the firehouse and are sent off to the showers, the next crew having already started their shift, and TK doesn’t think he could move faster if he tried. He wants to make a good impression on Carlos, even if he’s seen the worst side of him —  _ especially _ since he’s seen the worst side of him. And as he scrubs the scent of smoke and sweat from his skin, he figures that no matter what he does, he’ll be at least forty minutes late for their date, and he just feels defeated. 

TK shoots off a text to Carlos, apologizing and promising he’s on his way, not having time to check the reply that comes through moments later as he pulls on his jeans and a shirt he leaves unbuttoned near the collar, hopping around on one foot as he pulls on his shoes and tries to brush his teeth at the same time. 

“Christ, kid, you’ve gotta calm down,” Judd tells him, clamping a hand down on TK’s good shoulder. “You know, the guy’s heads-over-heels for you, he’s not going to blame you for being a little late.” 

“I just — I don’t wanna disappoint him,” TK says, throwing his things back into the compartment marked with his name on the shelving unit. 

“You won’t,” Judd levels with him, before he heads back toward the lockers. TK sighs, and runs a hand through slightly damp hair, and grabs his bag before shouting out a goodbye to those that are still lingering around, waving at his dad before he heads out to the Uber he’s ordered. 

He’s tapping his foot the whole ride over, he can’t help it. When Carlos’ place comes into view, his stomach clenches, and he thanks the driver and grips the bouquet of tulips he’d stopped to buy. It added five minutes to his journey, but he figures it’s worth it. As he steps up to the door, he knocks, and paces around until Carlos comes into view and he immediately feels calm wash over him. 

“Hey,” Carlos says, looking warm and welcoming and  _ handsome,  _ in a maroon shirt that brings out the gold in his eyes. TK’s immediately at ease in his presence, as he steps closer. 

“Hey,” TK steps into the house when Carlos makes a sweeping gesture, and he clears his throat when Carlos closes the door behind him. “These are for you.” 

“Oh,” Carlos looks pleasantly surprised by the flowers; he accepts the bouquet and smiles down at the pale pink blossoms. “They’re beautiful, thank you.” 

“Of course,” TK says, rubbing at the back of his neck as he steps further into the house. He spares a glance at the dining table and he sees a setup similar to the one he’d walked out on, so long ago. 

There’s a few moments where they sort of hover around one another, not sure what to say, until TK bites his bottom lip before huffing out a laugh. 

“This is awkward, isn’t it,” TK mutters, as he sits in the chair Carlos pulls out for him. He’s over in the kitchen, filling a vase with water, and looks over at him when he starts talking. 

“No, I mean, we haven’t really seen each other in a while,” Carlos shrugs a shoulder, coming over with the vase of tulips and sitting down across from TK. “I’m probably as nervous as you are, though, which I’m hoping is a good sign.” 

“It’s weird,” TK says, tapping his fingers against the table. “We  _ know  _ we work, and I feel like I’m hanging out with you for the first time and it’s—it’s throwing me off.” 

“I hear first dates are usually a little awkward,” Carlos studies his face carefully, before his easy smile falters a little and he leans closer, adding: “Ty, are you okay? Really.” 

“I’m just—I’m so sorry for being late,” TK says, feeling the words well up in his throat and having to be set free. “I don’t want to fuck this up because I—I really like you, Carlos. And even though I know I like you and want to do this right, I’m so fucking afraid of ruining everything again.”

“Hey, firstly, you don’t have to apologize. I know that shit happens. And secondly: please  **don’t be afraid.** You don’t have to be with me, Ty,” Carlos whispers, reaching across the table and taking TK’s hands in his. TK stares down at their threaded fingers, which seem to fit perfectly, like everything else, before he slowly drags his eyes back up to meet Carlos’. “I know we’re still trying to get to know each other and do things properly but I really like you, too, TK. And I want you to know that  **I’m not going anywhere.** Unless you don’t want me around.” 

“I don’t think that’ll ever happen,” TK admits, the corner of his mouth pulling upward in a smile. He runs his thumb along the back of Carlos’ hand. “I want you to know that I’m not going anywhere either, Carlos. I don’t want to run this time.” 

“Good,” Carlos smiles a little, “I want to keep you around.” 

“I’d like that.” TK says, feeling the tension drop from his shoulders. 

He takes one last deep breath, and when Carlos looks at him with so much open love and acceptance in his eyes, TK starts to truly feel himself relax. 


	11. 16. "i've got you" & 82. "just breathe, okay?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **possible tw: brief mentions of minor character death**

TK has come to accept that it’s impossible for him and Carlos to completely stay in touch during their shifts. 

They get pulled away so quickly and without warning, their full attention needed for whatever task that’s been thrown their way, that going several hours without getting a response from his boyfriend has become the norm. But it doesn’t help the sense of dread that just seems to _build_ in his stomach when he’s left with nothing to do but pace around the house, looking for something to do that’ll keep his mind off the possibilities. Especially today, when the lack of even one brief message the whole time Carlos is at work leaves TK feeling restless and like something’s _wrong._

“You know, it’s my day to do dishes, son,” his dad says from behind him, after he’s spent the last ten minutes elbow-deep in suds. 

TK glances over as his dad leans against the counter next to him, looking at him expectantly. “Oh, uh, it’s not a big deal. I was bored.” 

“Never thought I’d see the day,” Owen teases, but when he catches the furrow between his son’s eyebrows and the way he’s not really looking at him, he crosses his arms over his chest. “Alright, what’s going on? Is everything okay?” 

“Yeah,” TK lies, trying not to wrap his dad up in his shit — it’s the start of their forty-eight hours off, the last thing his dad needs while dealing with chemo and paperwork is his own misplaced worry. Besides, Carlos is supposed to be done his shift in an hour; he can dwell in his own anxiety for that long until he’s sure he’ll get a text telling him everything’s okay.

His dad’s like a hawk, though, and he pointedly reaches over to turn off the tap. “TK, talk to me.” 

“It’s probably stupid,” TK mutters, finally stepping back from the sink and reaching for a dish towel to dry his hands with. Owen cocks a brow at him, and TK sighs. “I just haven’t heard from Carlos at all today. And it feels...wrong. Even though I’m sure they’re just having a busy day.” 

“First, it’s not stupid,” Owen says, and TK barely holds back the urge to roll his eyes. “And second, isn’t it possible he just hasn’t had the chance to text you?” 

“Yeah, it is,” TK insists, scrubbing a hand down his face. “I just can’t get over this feeling in my stomach that something happened.” 

“If it feels wrong, then there’s a good chance you’re right, kid,” Owen shrugs, and TK heaves another sigh. “I can see if this shift’s captain has heard anything.” 

“No, it’s okay,” TK quickly interjects, deciding on his plan as he goes. “He’s supposed to be home soon, I think I’m just going to head over there and wait for him.” 

Owen nods, squeezing TK’s shoulder, careful of how hard his grip is — almost two months after bursting his stitches, and he still gets awful aches and twinges of pain that limits his movement. Then he moves over to grab a mug from the cupboard. “Send him my best.” 

“I will,” TK says, unable to help the small smile he tries to keep to himself because just knowing his dad likes Carlos — not even just as his boyfriend, but as a person that he actively tries to hang out with, which fucks with his head enough — makes him so much more hopeful. There've been so many relationships of his that just don’t pan out, and his dad’s immediate perception of the guys he would date would often be enough of a tell for him to know things were probably not going to go great. Shaking himself from his thoughts, he grabs his phone from where it’s charging and after frowning down at the still notification-less screen, he pockets it and grabs his house keys, yelling a goodbye to his father as he heads out the door. 

He only has to wait on the curb for a few minutes as he waits for his Uber; he could drive his dad’s car in theory, but he doesn’t like leaving him without a means of transportation should there be some sort of emergency. It’s a nice enough night, anyway, the warmth manageable and broken up by a pleasantly cool breeze. TK makes it over to Carlos’ place twenty minutes before his shift would be set to end, so he lets himself into the house with the key that’s stashed under the doormat, moving with ease around the living room as he tries to get comfortable. TK fiddles around with his phone, texting a little in the groupchat that Marjan forced them all into, mainly smirking down at Judd’s very direct, very matter-of-fact responses. 

He hears the doorknob turning, and he’s on his feet in seconds. TK had thought he would’ve gotten a reply from Carlos when he’d texted his boyfriend that he was at his place, but there was still nothing. Carlos steps inside and TK opens his mouth to make some snarky comment about his phone being on the fritz when he notices the heaviness with which Carlos is carrying himself, and the hollowness in his face, and the pain in his eyes. 

“Carlos?” TK quickly strides closer to his boyfriend, worry twisting like a knife in his gut. “Hey, are you okay?” 

“Hey, TK,” Carlos says, and his voice is _off._ TK furrows his brows and moves aside when Carlos kind of shoulders past him, heading toward his bedroom. He has yet to really look at him, and TK starts pacing around the living room, until Carlos emerges from his room, changed out of his uniform. Carlos finally looks at him, from the other side of the room, and jerks his head toward his back porch.

He doesn’t say anything, and TK just follows him as he heads for the backyard. It had been so endearing when Carlos had first showed him this space, complete with outdoor seating and an actual porch swing. It’s where TK finds Carlos, sitting with his arms crossed over his chest and focusing his attention on the ground. 

TK takes the leap of faith, and risks bugging him when he’s clearly in a less-than-pleasant mood, and sits down next to his boyfriend. 

It’s so obvious that Carlos is trying to put on a brave face when he looks over at TK, and that he’s seeking out the comfort of his presence because TK presses himself to his boyfriend’s side and curls an arm around his shoulders. 

“You can talk to me, sweetheart,” TK whispers. “If you want to.” 

“We lost a kid today,” Carlos says, quickly, his voice sounding shattered. “Well, I lost a kid, I was the one that couldn’t get her to the paramedics in time.” 

“I’m so sorry,” TK murmurs, pulling Carlos closer to him. He knows exactly how that feels, losing a child on a call; it sort of carves out a hole in your heart and sits there, a pressure you can’t lift, for days, sometimes _weeks,_ after it happens. TK licks his lips as he quietly adds: “It’s not your fault.” 

"It is, though,” Carlos replies, before the dam breaks and his eyes start shining with tears. 

TK immediately pushes closer and curls his other arm around Carlos, feeling his face press against the crook of his neck. As the shaking starts, TK presses his lips to the top of his boyfriend’s head. “It’s okay, it’s okay. **I’ve got you.** ” 

He feels tears against his skin, and TK tries to swallow down his own emotions welling up inside. He just clenches his jaw and secures his arms as tightly around Carlos as he can, making sure he can feel how much love he has for him, how he’ll never let him go. 

“ **Just breathe, okay?** ” TK murmurs, bringing his hand up to cradle the back of his boyfriend’s neck, fingers scratching gently at his scalp. “I’ve got you, Carlos, I’m not going anywhere.” 

After a few moments, he hears Carlos sniff and say, “sorry,” mostly into his skin. 

TK shakes his head, and pulls his arms from around Carlos so he can frame his face in his hands again. “No, don’t apologize. It’s okay.”

He swipes his thumbs under Carlos’ eyes, and his boyfriend lets out a shaky breath. 

“It’s just—I keep seeing it over and over in my head,” Carlos says, and TK nods, knowing all too well what that feels like. After another moment or two of silence, Carlos mutters: "Thank you, for..." 

He doesn't finish, looking down at his hands, and TK just throws his arms around him in a proper hug. 

"I'll always be here for you." TK whispers, as he feels Carlos' arms tighten around him. It feels like a bigger revelation, his heartbeat hammering away in his chest as he suddenly feels cracked open for Carlos to see. It's six words, but it feels like he's saying more than he should. 

Carlos presses a kiss to his throat, before pulling back from the hug, hands still gripping at TK's shirt as some sort of anchor. He looks at him with fondness under the lingering pain, and TK swallows as he feels seen. Carlos doesn't comment on the words, or the levity behind them. 

"Will you stay tonight?" is what he asks instead, voice quiet and, under the layers, hopeful. TK finds himself nodding before he's even done speaking. 

"Of course," TK whispers, before they come together in another hug, both of them embraced by the comfort the other brings. _"Always."_


	12. 96. "can't you stay a little longer?" & 100. "you're the only one i wanna wake up to"

TK realizes that being in love — like, make-your-heart-sing _love_ — makes his long shifts sometimes unbearable. He loves what he does, and for the most part he can keep focused on the tasks at hand without letting his mind drift to what he could be doing instead of finishing reports or scrubbing down the rig. But when these twenty-four hour blocks start to bleed together, feeling like one long stretch of time on the job, he finds that he’s often counting down the minutes until the next team takes over. Tonight’s one of those nights, and he’s exhausted enough to realize that having the next forty-eight hours off is just what he’ll need to recharge. It definitely helps that even though Carlos works tomorrow, he’ll at least get to spend the night with him. 

He sees the tiredness hanging over the rest of the team, too — there have been some crazy calls over the last few hours, and all their muscles are aching and they’re desperate to sleep off all that they’ve witnessed. After he grabs his bag from his locker, TK takes the stairs two at a time to check in on his dad. 

Rapping his knuckles on the doorframe, TK pokes his head into his dad’s office, where Owen's focused on the laptop screen in front of him. “Hey, I’m heading out.” 

He pauses for a second, remembering the coughing fit his dad went into at the scene of the last kitchen fire they responded to. 

Quietly, he adds: “Are you okay?” 

“Yeah, of course,” Owen says, stretching his arms out over his head. It makes TK feel guilty — hell, he’s always got that small pit of guilt that sits heavy in his stomach whenever he opts to spend time with Carlos instead of going home right after a shift — and he considers just texting his boyfriend that they’ll catch up over the next couple of days, and that he’s going to wait until his dad’s wrapped up and grab a ride home with him. His dad is able to read him like a book, though, always has, and he points a finger at him. “Go and have a good night, son.” 

“Are you sure?” TK’s positive that his hesitation is written all over his face, and Owen sighs at him. 

“I’m fine, kid, I won’t be too far behind you anyway,” Owen says, leaning back in his chair. 

TK mulls it over in his head before he adds: “I, uh, I probably won’t make it home tonight. I’ll text you.” 

Owen doesn’t press; he just gives him a look. “Nothing stupid?” 

TK huffs out a laugh. “No, I swear. It’s just Carlos.” 

“Ah,” Owen says, smiling now, and TK rolls his eyes before lifting a hand in a wave before his dad can try and get more information out of him. It’s been five of the best months of TK’s life, and his dad seems to sense it on him because he has nothing but nice things to say about Carlos. He heads back downstairs, smiling down at the _be there in five_ message on his phone as he steps out into the pleasantly cool evening. An all-too familiar car slows down in front of him after a few minutes of waiting, and TK’s already feeling more awake as he opens the passenger door and slips in. 

“Hey,” Carlos’ voice is honey-sweet, and TK accepts the quick kiss as he deals with the seatbelt. 

“Hey,” TK says, a little breathless, settling into the comfort of Carlos’ presence while the other man drives off. He’s out of uniform, dark-grey shirt hugging his arms, and TK doesn’t even try to hide his obvious staring. 

“So, did you want to go grab some food or something?” 

TK fiddles with his phone, tapping it against the heel of his palm. “I was just thinking we could head to your place?” 

Carlos nods. “Oh, yeah. Sure.” 

“I’m just tired,” TK quietly admits, not ready to add that he seems to get the best sleep whenever he’s curled up with his boyfriend. Instead of admitting that, he clears his throat. “It’s been a long shift.” 

“I get it,” Carlos says, sparing a glance at him, moving one hand off the wheel to grab TK’s fidgeting hand to thread their fingers together. 

They get to Carlos’ place, and he practically beelines for the bedroom, Carlos turning off lights behind them as they go. It’s almost midnight, and TK can feel his eyelids growing heavier with every passing minute. As he pulls off his shirt and pants and kicks off his shoes, he watches as Carlos does the same, and he ungracefully plops onto the bed. Carlos pulls the covers over him, and drops a kiss just above his eyebrow, and TK has never felt so deeply and effortlessly loved. 

“I’m sorry,” TK whispers, eyes moving all over Carlos’ face. “I feel like you wanted to do something more fun than just...sleeping.” 

“I can’t think of anything better than this, Ty, seriously,” Carlos says, already opening his arms. “Come here.”

TK goes, immediately feeling more calm wash over him as Carlos curls his arms around him, his chest pressed to TK’s back, feeling comforted by the feeling of the steady rhythm of Carlos’ heartbeat between his shoulder blades. He settles into the embrace, ducking his chin forward to press a kiss to Carlos’ hand. 

“Besides,” Carlos starts talking, picking up the dropped conversation, his words mostly whispered into TK’s ear. “This is how I get the best sleep. Just being able to hold you makes me feel right. And **you’re the only one I wanna wake up to** , preferably for as long as you’ll let me. Never apologize for wanting this, okay?” 

“Yeah, okay,” TK mutters, running his fingers absently up and down Carlos’ forearm, already feeling sleep pull at him as he slurs, “I feel the same, by the way. I feel like I don’t tell you enough how much I care about you.” 

Carlos takes a few long seconds to respond, to let the words hang in the air between them. The last thing TK hears before he’s gone to the world is, "don't worry, TK, I know."

* * *

TK doesn’t know how long he’s out for, but the early morning sunlight’s streaming into the room when he eventually blinks open his eyes. He stretches out his limbs and he feels Carlos press a kiss just under his jaw. 

He remembers all too quickly that Carlos is stuck with a day shift, and if he hasn’t left yet it probably means that he’s going to have to go sooner than he’d prefer; he wishes he could stay in bed and cherish these moments as long as possible but Carlos eventually heaves a sigh and starts moving to get out of bed. 

“ **Can’t you stay a little longer?** ” TK asks, even though he knows there’s no chance of Carlos risking being late; TK's the same, always hating it but leaving his boyfriend nonetheless when he has to get to work. 

Carlos hums against his shoulder, squeezing him tight once more. “I wish I could, but McCoy’s out this week so I’ve got a rookie with me. Can’t be setting a bad example.” 

TK lets out a garbled, muttered noise in agreement, though he still sits up when Carlos moves off the bed, beginning his morning routine. TK watches him for a few moments, but he still feels exhausted, and Carlos seems to pick up on it because he crosses the room to stand on his side of the bed — which seems like a _big thing,_ for TK to have a determined side of Carlos’ bed — and runs a hand through TK’s hair, eventually bringing his palm down to drag his thumb along TK’s jaw.

TK sighs, and leans into the touch, this act of allowing himself to feel vulnerable still a new thing. He only opens his eyes when Carlos starts talking to him. 

“Get some more sleep, Ty,” Carlos says, and TK starts to protest, saying something about going back to his own place so he’s not imposing, only for Carlos to interject. “You can stay here without me, you know. But if you do leave, let me know what you’re up to later and maybe we can do something when I’m off shift.” 

“Sounds like a plan, baby,” TK replies weakly, his mind a little too muddled with sleep, but he definitely picks up on the warmth spreading through his chest at Carlos’ insistence that he belongs here; that his home is open to his presence. 

With a quick kiss pressed to his temple, Carlos pulls away to go shower, not without murmuring, “I’ll see you later, cariño,” into his hair first. TK slumps back down, face turned into Carlos’ pillow, as he contentedly lets sleep take over once more.


	13. 11. "how could you ask me that?" & 36. "you've shown me what love can feel like"

“It feels like it’s been forever since I’ve gotten you alone.” 

There’s no bite to Michelle’s words as she speaks, but Carlos immediately picks up on the insinuation that she’s lying down: that Carlos is a little too caught up in the whirlwind that is TK Strand for him to make time for their weekly tradition of drinks and street tacos at their favourite place downtown. He’s missed the last three or four chances they had to hang out, due to picking up shifts or getting wrapped up in his — what, friend? boyfriend? guy-that-he’s-exclusively-seeing-but-has-no-label-for is too wordy, but it’s really the only thing that makes sense when trying to describe what he has with TK. 

“Sorry,” Carlos says, because he  _ is.  _ Michelle’s been there for him through thick and thin ever since he was barely out of high school and he started hanging out with her as much as he hung out with Iris. But she waves him off immediately. 

“No need to apologize, I know that boy of yours, you should feel no shame for getting as much time in with him as you can,” Michelle offers him a wink, but when he just sort of sighs and sinks down into his chair, she cocks her head to the side. “Is everything okay with you two?” 

Carlos could offer her the same response he’s been giving his sister, who’s wanted to meet his so-called mystery guy for almost a month, now. She’d noticed his change of tone whenever he spoke about his and TK’s relationships, and Carlos had quickly chalked it up to him being tired after a long day. Which was true — but he could just sense that something was up with TK, and it wasn’t something he was ready to get into with his sister. But Michelle’s different; she might actually know if something’s up with the 126 that could be attributed to TK’s slow but steady act of pulling away from him. 

“Actually, uh, he’s been kind of distant, lately,” Carlos says, trying to keep it casual, but Michelle’s eyebrows furrow almost immediately. 

“For how long?” Michelle asks, bringing her beer to her lips and taking a sip. 

Carlos sighs. “Two weeks. I thought maybe something was going on at work?” 

Michelle presses her lips together, but the corners of her mouth still turn down in a frown as she shakes her head. “I mean, he seems normal at the station. The whole team does.” 

They’re quiet for a few moments, as Michelle taps her fingers against the neck of her bottle. 

“How is he being distant?” Michelle finally asks, and Carlos shrugs, squinting as he looks off into the distance, the setting sun just low enough to be in his line of vision. 

“We still go on dates and stuff, but he doesn’t really talk to me like he did before. He always seems like he’s lying when I ask him if he’s okay,” Carlos shrugs, taking a breath before speaking the words out loud, finally voicing the fear that’s been brewing in his chest. “I think he might want to break up with me.” 

“Are you serious?” Michelle looks at him with wide eyes, and Carlos slowly nods. 

“I mean, what else could it be? We gave  _ us  _ a shot for real two months ago, maybe he doesn’t like how it’s turning out,” Carlos rubs at the back of his neck. 

“I’ll talk to him,” Michelle says, eyes suddenly a little darker as her protective side starts coming out. Carlos quickly reaches across the table and takes her hands in his. 

“God, no way, Michelle, I don’t want you to scare him off,” Carlos insists, rubbing a thumb along the inside of her wrist to calm her, a little. “I think I should just ask him tomorrow. Be straight up about everything.” 

He makes the decision without really thinking it through. Maybe  _ he’s  _ the one that’s freaking out too much — TK could just be exhausted, or dealing with his dad’s chemo appointments on top of having a strenuous job. But he knows what his ma would say, that he probably should’ve already talked with TK about this when he first started worrying. And the way it seems to settle Michelle’s willingness to go after TK herself is also a bonus. 

“How’s your mom?” he asks, to shove the focus off of his issues for a little while. And it seems to work, Michelle only giving him one last wary glance before she talks about their plan to bring Iris a care package, Carlos quietly stewing in his own mind over what to do next. 

* * *

Carlos  _ knows  _ that work isn’t the best place to do this. But he also knows just how distracted he’s been all day just  _ thinking  _ about all the possibilities of what TK’s struggling with, and if he doesn’t get his emotions off his chest he’s going to crash and burn. Besides, they’ve been called to an accident at a state fair — a malfunctioning ferris wheel, that hadn’t moved for half an hour with people stuck on the ride — and once the 126 rescued the ten stranded people, they were all milling around, waiting for the all-clear, and Carlos has been watching TK just chat with Marjan for the last ten minutes and he figures this is as good a time as any. 

Marjan catches his eye before TK sees him, and she says something quickly to him as TK begins to turn around. He offers Carlos a small smile as he approaches and Marjan clears her throat. 

“I’m just...not going to be here right now. Nice to see you, Carlos,” Marjan says as she slips away from them, going over to where Mateo’s checking on equipment. Carlos nods at her as she leaves, and TK steps a little closer. 

“How’s your night going?” TK asks, and Carlos frowns a little at the way that TK has yet to really look him in the eye. 

“This is going to sound stupid,” Carlos says, instead of actually answering the other man. “But are you trying to break up with me?” 

After ten seconds of silence, TK barks out a laugh. But when he takes in Carlos’ worried look and his tense jaw, his eyebrows shoot up. “Wait, you’re serious?” 

“Sorry, I’m just being an idiot, I—”

“Wait, Carlos,” TK says, curling his fingers around Carlos’ wrist. “Talk to me?” 

“It’s just...you’ve been distant, over the past couple of weeks. And at first I thought you were just tired, or maybe wrapped up in your head, which I totally get. But I want to be there for you no matter what, and I feel like you couldn’t wait for me to get out of your hair on our past few dates.” Carlos explains, watching as TK runs a hand down his face. “So, do you want to break up with me? I just can’t keep doing this, Ty.” 

“ **How could you ask me that?** ” TK’s brought his voice down to a whisper, and Carlos shakes his head. 

“I’m just wondering where we stand, Ty,” Carlos says. “I really like you, but I don’t want you to feel forced into this relationship if you—”

“I don’t,” TK quickly interjects, stepping even more into Carlos’ space. “I don't feel forced into anything. You have to believe me, okay? I’ve never wanted anyone like I want you. And it still blows my mind that I  _ get  _ to have you in my life. Carlos— **you’ve shown me what love can feel like.** After all I’ve been through and all that I’ve put you through, you’ve stood by me, and I can’t even express to you how important you are to me.” 

Carlos feels warmth spread through him, but he still doesn’t get the distance. He opens his mouth to speak, but before he can, TK presses on. 

“I’ve been distant because I wanted,” TK stops for a second, inhaling shakily as he glances around, his eyes illuminated under the twinkling lights of the various rides and the signs advertising games and food. He meets Carlos’ gaze again and finally continues. “I wanted to ask you to be my boyfriend. Officially. But I didn’t know how to do it because you mean so much to me and I wanted to do this right, and I’ve been kind of stressing out about making things perfect and—”

“Hey, hey, TK,” Carlos says, bringing his hands up to frame TK’s face, practically  _ feeling  _ the other man’s mind going thousand miles a minute. “I think boyfriend has a nice ring to it.” 

TK’s mouth quirks up in a lopsided smile. “Yeah?” 

Carlos hums in agreement. “Yeah.” 

“I’m sorry for making you worry,” TK says, “that’s the last thing I wanted to do.” 

“Well, this is much better than all the other scenarios I was imagining,” Carlos jokes, but when he sees the flash of worry clouding up TK’s eyes, he presses a quick kiss to his boyfriend’s temple. “It’s okay, Ty. I swear.” 

TK opens his mouth to speak, only for Judd’s voice to pipe up. 

“Hey, loverboys! I won’t hesitate to use this hose on y’all,” Judd teases, as the others smirk all around them. “Come on, TK, we gotta go save some chickens from a barn fire.” 

“Texas manages to surprise me every day,” TK mutters, meeting Carlos’ eyes one last time. “What are you doing later? I have to make things up to my boyfriend.” 

TK waggles his eyebrows and Carlos snorts, leaning in quick to kiss him. “Come to my place when you’re done, I’m making you dinner.” 

“You’re seriously the best,” TK says, as he turns to head toward the rig, where Marjan’s holding the door open for him. 

“Be safe!” Carlos shouts out after him, and TK gives him one last smile and wave before he’s disappeared into the truck. As he retreats to his squad car, he shoots Michelle a quick text —  _ things are all good, won’t need you threatening my boyfriend any time soon  _ — before he heads off to the next call, unable to stop himself from smiling to himself over that label, one he hopes will stick for as long as humanly possible. 


	14. 1."i love you, please don't go" & 48. "why are you crying?"

TK’s first summer in Austin takes him by surprise. 

He thought he could handle any form of weather after living through the extreme highs and lows in New York, but the heaviness of the heat latches onto him. The irony doesn’t escape him: he’s a firefighter who actively chooses to run into burning buildings, and he’s not the biggest fan of summer. Carlos teases him a little for it, especially the first few nights when TK comes over and sprawls out so the air conditioning can flow over him, perfectly cool and steady through the open floor plan, and refuses to move until he’s comfortable. But they don’t get too much time together outside of work, and TK doesn’t want anything keeping them from enjoying themselves on the few date nights that they actually get. 

Of course tonight, though, because even though their schedules miraculously line up for the first time in a couple of weeks, the sudden downpour that refuses to let up forces them to skip the plans they had after grabbing dinner at a newly opened bistro, and instead they hang out at Carlos’ place. It doesn’t make a huge difference — they can generally find enjoyment out of anything that they do together, as they’re in the point of their relationship where just _being together_ is their number one priority — and TK suggests having a movie night. They both know that it’s inevitable that once they actually get a movie going, one of them will pass out from exhaustion right there on the couch, but after the few weeks they’ve both had at work they figure it’s worth it. 

Carlos doesn’t quite realize how fucking _exhausted_ they are, though, until they’ve changed into sleep clothes and have grabbed snacks and have both gotten comfortable and they realize that the TV’s still switched over to the DVD menu screen. He mostly uses his player whenever his nieces and nephews come over and they’ve got their own stack of movies they want to watch, and it shouldn’t be a problem to get up and grab the remote to switch it over to Netflix because TK complains that he’s _just_ gotten into the prime, comfortable position. And Carlos is half-pinned under his boyfriend’s leg, which he’s thrown over Carlos’ lap in his quest to get comfy, so they just sigh and settle on watching whatever movie his nephew last left playing when he and his sister came over a few days ago. 

Carlos tries to keep a calm expression in place as it starts, sending a curse up to whoever’s listening that it’s a Pixar movie. TK doesn’t seem fazed by it, as he taps away on his phone for a couple of seconds, mumbling something about texting his dad he’s all good — a common occurrence, especially whenever Carlos swings by to pick up TK from the station and he doesn’t go back to his and his dad’s place — before he settles against Carlos’ side. And, okay, Carlos is a twenty-six year old guy with a weak spot for these kinds of movies, as they seem to have a direct line to his emotions, he’s not ashamed of that. He and his sisters are all the same: they’re cool, calm and collected until someone hits play on an animated movie likely meant for children, and they’re gone for. 

“Hey, you okay?” TK murmurs, and when Carlos turns his head he gets a glimpse of those green eyes he loves, roaming over his own face. 

Carlos just hums, tightening his arm around TK’s shoulders. “Of course.” 

It’s a lie. 

They make it through half of the movie before it really starts pulling at his heart strings, and he tries to not think about it too much but he can’t help the burning that begins behind his eyes. 

His breathing must change slightly, because TK quickly turns his head again and immediately the corners of his mouth pull into a frown, reaching over to press _pause_ while framing Carlos’ face in his hands, thumbs swiping away the few traitorous tears that have fallen from under his eyes. 

“Baby, hey, **why are you crying?** ” TK asks, concern etched into his features, and Carlos rolls his eyes. 

“It’s stupid,” Carlos says. 

“Literally nothing you could tell me would make me think it’s stupid of you to cry,” TK says, sitting up straighter now. “Is something wrong? I can call Michelle, and—”

“It was the movie, Ty,” Carlos finally admits, effectively quieting his boyfriend. “Ever since my sisters and I were young we’d always cry at these movies. And they’re too adorable to not to, okay?” 

TK sits back a little, and Carlos can feel his own small smile spreading across his face as TK presses his lips into a line, obviously trying to hide his own grin. 

“I hate you,” Carlos lies, voice dripping with the teasing lilt he reserves for TK, as he makes a show of getting up off the couch. 

“No, wait! **I love you** ,” TK says sincerely, though he’s absolutely smiling ear-to-ear right now. “ **Please don’t go.** ” 

TK curls his fingers around Carlos’ wrist and keeps him down on the couch, only for TK to move impossibly close. Carlos locks eyes with his boyfriend and can’t help but to feel calmed by his warm gaze. 

“I think it’s cute,” TK slowly admits, moving in closer so he can close the distance between them and press a kiss to the corner of his mouth. “I think _you’re_ cute.”

“Really,” Carlos deadpans, and TK huffs and moves a hand to the back of Carlos’ neck, running his thumb along the tight curls near his nape. 

“I want to get to know you, isn’t that what you said to me on our first date?” TK cocks a brow at him, and Carlos nods. “Well, this is just a part of me getting to know you. And it’s just another thing about you that I love.” 

“You’re throwing that word around a lot, Tyler Kennedy,” Carlos says, delighting in the way TK immediately averts his gaze and bites the inside of his cheek. Instead of shying away from saying it again, TK just meets his eyes once more. 

“Well, it’s true,” TK insists, “I love y—”

Carlos is kissing him before he can finish speaking, and TK mirrors him by smiling into it, like always. 

“I love you too,” Carlos says, mostly against TK’s mouth, “But I’m turning this off because soon enough I’ll be sobbing and Michelle will never let me live it down.” 

TK laughs, but there’s no mirth to it, he just moves in to kiss him, again and again. 


	15. 70. "after everything we've been through, you still don't think that i love you?" & 77. "we're meant for each other" & 79. "i don't care what anyone else thinks"

“You seem nervous,” TK observes, as they slip out of the Camaro and head toward the restaurant that the reunion is being held at, just a block or two away from Carlos’ old high school just outside of the Austin city-limits. 

He’s flattening down the front of his shirt as he glances over at Carlos, who still hasn’t spoken. The ride over from the station had been quiet in general, and TK goes to speak again when Carlos finally says, “I’m fine.” 

It’s a pretty obvious lie. TK throws him a look and Carlos sighs. 

“It’s just a little...weird. I haven’t seen most of these guys since I was actually _in_ school.” 

He hasn’t said anything about his high school experience. TK knows Carlos came out to his mom and sisters when he was fifteen, but he doesn’t know if his friends at school knew; he doesn’t know if he got shit for it from classmates or if he was accepted. All TK knows is that Carlos was definitely semi-popular in the way that most athletes were, and he was one of the few people to move away from everything he knew to live in the heart of Austin. 

“Nothing bad happened when I was a kid, I know you’re thinking it,” Carlos sends him the smallest promise of a smile, and TK starts to calm his nerves. A little. “I mean, I definitely had a few people around me who didn’t love the gay thing, but everyone else I knew made up for it. I just don’t know what everyone’s going to think now that it’s been ten years.” 

“Well, now you get to impress the shit out of them,” TK shrugs a shoulder, unable to stop thinking about what his own high school experience was like, easily understanding the underlying nervousness that Carlos must be feeling. “And if it starts going south, we can ditch and go to a movie or something.” 

Carlos looks at him with fondness etched into his features, and TK smiles and leans his weight against his boyfriend for a moment before they step into the restaurant. It’s a nice place, similar to the family-run places TK would always stumble across in Manhattan, and once Carlos asks about the reunion the hostess immediately leads them back toward the large patio space, which is occupied by Carlos’ graduating class. TK squeezes Carlos’ hand as they step into the party, which seems to be a low-key thing; there are a few photos strung around, along with memorabilia from their school, but it seems that for the most part everyone is getting drunk and attempting to start up the dancing. 

A woman with cropped hair and completely tattooed arms, who is definitely a little past tipsy, catches sight of them and she immediately comes over, knocking Carlos back a few steps as she hugs him. TK lets go of his grip on his boyfriend’s hand and watches on with a small smile, grateful that at least one person here doesn’t seem to have changed much. 

“Max, hey, this is my boyfriend TK,” Carlos says, once they’ve stepped out of their hug. The woman looks at him with warm, deep brown eyes and grins at him, pulling him in for a hug, too. “TK, this is Max. She was my best friend and lab partner in senior year.” 

“It’s nice to meet you,” TK says, and she agrees, grinning as she cranes her neck to find someone. 

“Oh, you’ve got to meet my wife,” Max says, and a few seconds later a taller woman with an intricately braided up-do joins them, shaking hands and offering introductions. “This is my lovely Brit.” 

They all start talking: about their lives post-high school, their careers, and as Max begins explaining that they’re thinking about having kids in a couple years. Carlos keeps an arm securely around TK’s shoulders as they catch-up, and he’s starting to think that everything’s going to go smoothly when more and more people begin to flock around them, joining in with their own stories until soon the conversation has turned into memories from high school that TK just sits back and listens to, occasionally sipping on his sweet tea.

He notices the hesitation around him, though, especially when someone asks him what he does for a living and he mentions working at the 126. 

“So wait, you’re a firefighter? Isn’t that really dangerous?” 

Before TK can open his mouth to actually respond, another person pipes up — the same guy who is not only totally smashed, but hasn’t stopped finding excuses to touch Carlos’ shoulder or arm the whole night. 

“Yeah, _Carlos,_ how do you even handle dating someone that’s never home and could get seriously injured?” 

He doesn’t say it with too much venom, and TK knows he's just too drunk to read the room, but the words manage to sting and latch onto all the insecurities about their relationship that TK’s hidden deep down. He feels that unsettling doubt building up deep in his core, and while the conversation shifts off of him, Carlos glances at him and he feels comforted by the warmth that always seems to be there when Carlos settles his eyes on him, but it doesn’t do much for the dryness of his mouth. 

Max seems to pick up on his discomfort, but before she can say anything to either him or the guy who’s been shamelessly flirting with Carlos despite his attempt at polite refusal to his advances, TK roughly clears his throat and mentions that he’s going to get a drink. 

TK steps back into the restaurant, avoiding the bar and the refreshments table actually set up for the party, instead opting to head to the front. He breathes in deep, and feeling stupid for his doubt, he considers heading back to the reunion. But then he thinks of all the eyes falling on him and he shakily exhales and scrubs a hand down his face. He thought that after almost six months together that he wouldn't have the hesitation that comes with being cheated on in your previously longest lasting relationship, but he guesses it's just still simmering within him. 

“Ty, are you okay?” 

He shouldn’t be surprised that Carlos came after him. He still jumps a little though, and turns to watch him come closer. 

“Oh, yeah, I’m good,” TK says, but even he can hear how _wrong_ his voice sounds. “Actually, uh, I’m kind of freaking out.” 

Carlos steps close to him, voice dropped low. “What can I do to help?” 

“Nothing, just,” TK bites on the inside of his cheek until he finally lets it spill. “Why are you with me?” 

Carlos huffs out a laugh like he’s ridiculous, but when he sees the unwavering look on TK’s face, he cocks his head slightly to the side. “What do you mean? **We’re meant for each other,** baby.” 

“It doesn’t scare the shit out of you whenever I go in for a shift?” TK feels himself sinking into his own fears, but he can’t help as the words fall out of his mouth. 

“I mean, of course I worry about you,” Carlos says, eyes shining with truth. “But you worry about me too. And it doesn’t affect the way I feel about you.” 

“But—”

“ **After everything we’ve been through, you still don’t think that I love you?** ” Carlos asks, voice cracking a little. TK swallows around the lump in his throat and on instinct, he shakes his head. 

“No, I know you love me,” TK insists, because he _does._ The worry starts to fade away and he wonders to himself how he even let those words get under his skin. He moves more into Carlos’ space. “Because I love _you_ just as much.” 

The corner of Carlos’ mouth pulls up into a smile, but there’s still a line between his furrowed brows. “Please don’t worry about what they were saying in there.” 

“I promise,” TK says, stepping in and kissing Carlos briefly, pulling back enough to continue speaking as Carlos rests his hands on TK’s sides. “ **I don’t care what anyone else thinks.** I’m going to try and remind myself of that.” 

“Good, because I don’t either,” Carlos insists, his smile reaching his eyes now. TK grins at him and steps closer, moving in for another kiss until they hear the door opening up behind them. 

“Glad we could catch you guys!” A voice says, and they turn to see Max and Brit, hand-in-hand, slowly approaching them. TK slings an arm around Carlos’ waist. “For the record, Steve’s a dick for making you feel like that.” 

“And you guys are coming out with us,” Brit adds. 

“You don’t have to—”

“Carlos,” Max deadpans, shooting him a look that could rival one of TK’s and he can’t help but to laugh at it. “C’mon, we’re going to have our own reunion.” 

Carlos meets TK’s eyes and when he nods and smiles, Carlos grins over at his old friend. “Alright then, let’s do it.”

"Time to finally show y'all up on the dance floor," Max teases, and as she and Carlos start in on an easy back-and-forth as they retreat towards their respective cars, TK feels a flare of nothing but love for his boyfriend, letting the past wash away as he keeps his eyes trained on their future. 


	16. 31. "you haven't lost me"

It’s been a year and a half since they moved to Austin, and TK finally feels like he’s found his home. 

He misses Manhattan, and it sits in his chest like a dull ache; he misses the pre-shift, morning stops at the local deli; he misses the constant buzz of the city; he misses late-night train rides and rescues on the tallest high-rises along the New York cityscape. But he’s forged out a place for himself here in Austin — he’s found his new-favourite hole-in-the-wall diners and the best clubs downtown and savours the weekly backyard barbecues Grace initially makes mandatory after she finds that most of the crew has some form of lingering homesickness, but has now just become a tradition that all of them look forward to. 

TK’s also come to appreciate his dad’s team of doctors; Owen’s now entering his second six-month round of chemo, though his scans are continuously getting better and everyone seems to be hopeful, TK still finds himself anxiously standing by his father’s side throughout it all. Owen teases that he’s going to wear down the floor because of his pacing whenever he’s able to tag along for appointments, but TK shoots him a glare, because he can’t let his dad know just how  _ badly  _ he needs him to be okay. 

Carlos is always there, and he’s the light at the end of the tunnel. 

He’ll have dinner ready if he’s able, after a long day of waiting in treatment rooms; sometimes, though, he’s just there when Owen retreats to his room for a nap and TK wants to cuddle up with him on the couch. 

It’s where they end up today, after TK does the dishes despite Carlos’ multiple attempts to shoo him away from the sink. Hands barely dry, TK lets out a long sigh as he drops onto his and his dad’s couch, where Carlos is already sitting after TK sent him to relax after making dinner. It’s wordless, between them — Carlos opens his arms and TK rests against him, relishing in the quiet comfort provided by a pair of strong arms wrapping around him. 

After a few long moments of silence, Carlos presses a kiss to TK’s hairline before saying: “I’ve been thinking that you need a break.” 

“Hmm?” TK’s already half-asleep against Carlos’ chest, though he knows he wants to be able to stay up and make conversation with his boyfriend. He’s also vaguely aware that it’s barely eight, but his eyelids feel weighed down with lead. 

“You’re just proving my point, Ty,” Carlos says softly, TK finding it unfair that he seems to want to talk to him even though he’s now running his fingers through his hair. “You’re running on fumes.” 

“I’m fine,” TK insists, the words spilling out on auto-pilot. He really  _ does  _ feel fine; he knows he’s exhausted, but so is his whole team.  _ Plus,  _ he’s not the one with cancer; he’s not the one left feeling weak after sitting through hours of treatment that’s supposed to save him. But even when TK does have bad days, he automatically turns to his sponsor or his therapist or Paul, in a pinch, because he won’t let him weasel out of talking about his feelings. TK tries to prove himself — he sits up and keeps his eyes open, though he’s unable to stifle the yawn that pushes past his lips. “I’m just a little tired.” 

Carlos gives him a look. “You’ve looked worn out for weeks now. And I thought maybe you could take a few days, we could go have a little roadtrip or something so you can relax.” 

TK sits up straight at that, suddenly alert. 

“I can’t just leave my dad, or my team,” TK says, listening for any creaking floorboards at the top of the stairs. The last thing he needs is his father walking in on a conversation about his well-being, because he’ll never hear the end of it. “I’m  _ fine,  _ Carlos, seriously.” 

“Baby—” 

“I swear.” TK cuts his boyfriend off, offering him a small smile to try and prove it. “As amazing as a trip alone with you sounds, I just—I just can’t leave him right now, okay? I told him I would be by his side through all of this, I can’t just take a break when he needs me.” 

Carlos looks like he wants to say more, but just sighs and takes TK’s hand, running his thumb along his knuckles. Finally, he whispers, “I think I should head home.” 

“Hey, wait,” TK says, as Carlos moves to get up. “I’ll think about it, okay? But for now I just…” 

“I know, Ty,” Carlos assures him, briefly framing his face in both hands, kissing him gently. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” 

TK just nods, and after he watches Carlos drive off, he scrubs a hand down his face and drops back down onto the couch. 

* * *

He doesn’t bring it up to his dad. 

They’re all in the firehouse, waiting around between calls, and TK knows he should just casually bring up Carlos’ offer. But he  _ knows  _ his dad will tell him to go, and TK really doesn’t want his dad to have to shoulder the weight of his treatment on his own. Not when he doesn’t have to. As he scrubs down the pump panel on the truck, his mind drifting, TK jumps when Judd taps out a few beats on the space next to him.

“Christ, a little jumpy there, kid?” Judd comments, and TK shrugs, standing back from the truck and winding the rag around his hand absently as he turns to talk to the older man. 

“Just got some stuff on my mind,” TK says, and when Judd opens his mouth to comment, TK puts a finger up. “ _ Nothing  _ that you need to worry about, seriously.” 

Judd lifts his hands in mock surrender. “Duly noted. I just thought I’d let you know Reyes is here.” 

TK probably visibly perks up, because Judd huffs out a fond chuckle. 

“He’s talking to Michelle, he was clearly looking for you though,” Judd adds, as TK claps a hand on the taller man’s shoulder before turning, tossing the rag in the general vicinity of the cleaning supplies as he sets out to find his boyfriend. 

He’ll never get over the jump in his heart rate when he sees Carlos. Even now, it’s been a couple days since he saw him in person, and TK bites back a stupid smile as he approaches his boyfriend. Michelle catches his eye over Carlos’ shoulder and shoots him a wink; she says something to Carlos that causes him to turn around and when he does and catches sight of TK, she squeezes his arm before turning toward her office. 

“Funny running into you here,” TK drawls, taking in Carlos’ civilian clothes, appreciating his affinity for tight shirts. Before Carlos can say something in response, TK tugs him down for a quick kiss, all too aware that they're in the middle of his workplace. “I’m sorry if I was shitty the other night.” 

“You weren’t,” Carlos insists, dropping his hand from the back of TK’s neck, letting his thumb linger against his skin, sending a shiver through TK. “I just wanted—” 

Abruptly, his dad’s voice rings out over them. 

“TK, can I have a second?” 

He looks up and sees his dad, arms folded casually on top of the railing, leaning his weight against the balcony as he looks down over them. TK wants to gesture to his boyfriend, wants to indicate that they’re kind of in the middle of something and don’t exactly have all the time in the world together outside of work, but he just  _ can’t.  _ Not when it comes to his dad. So TK offers an apologetic glance toward Carlos before he bounds up the stairs, catching the start of a conversation below him as Paul moves in to chat with Carlos. 

“What’s up, is everything okay?” TK asks, once he’s come to stand next to Owen. 

“I just wanted to let you know that I approved your vacation request. You’ve got next week off.”

TK probably looks as bewildered as he feels, because his dad’s mouth quirks up into a smile when he takes him in. 

“Wait, what vacation request? I didn’t—” 

“I might have overheard you and a certain someone the other night,” Owen explains, and TK groans, pinching the bridge of his nose. “And after I had a one-on-one chat with Carlos, I approved you for some much-needed time off.” 

“Dad, you didn’t need to do that,” TK feels a strange twist of emotion curling up in his chest; he’s slowly come to accept his dad and his boyfriend communicating and interacting when he isn’t around, but he can’t help but to feel  _ small  _ over his dad thinking he needs to do things like this for him. “I’m a big boy, I can—”

“TK, I can see how tired you are,” Owen says, and TK really can’t object to that fact. “And Carlos can, too. You’re always out there putting others before yourself, I don’t think it’s a bad thing to want to decompress with someone you love.” 

“I want to be there for you, dad,” TK meets his father’s gaze, adding: “I promised, remember? I’m going to have your back through this whole process, and that doesn’t include me taking time off and not helping you and—and  _ losing  _ you, I can’t do that—” 

“Hey, son, it’s okay,” Owen’s always good at reading TK, and he rests a hand on his son’s shoulder, squeezing lightly. “You’ve done so much for me, and I’m feeling  _ better _ — thanks to you. And you know what?  **You haven’t lost me.** You haven’t lost him, either.” 

Owen jerks his head toward the ground below them, and TK glances down, and takes in his beautiful guy, easily folding into the dynamics of the 126. 

“It’s okay to put yourself first for once, TK,” Owen says softly, and TK finds himself slowly nodding. 

“Thank you,” he murmurs, before crushing his dad in a hug. 

“Okay, okay, you’re welcome,” Owen says, squeezing him back just as hard. 

After a moment, TK runs back down stairs and doesn’t say anything — he just moves from one hug to the next as he wraps his arms around Carlos. 

“So what roadtrip plans did you have?” TK asks, mostly into Carlos’ ear, and when his boyfriend grins at him and kisses his temple and squeezes him even tighter around the waist, he can imagine a week off with the other man and the rest that’ll really work to wake him up again, and he finds that he can’t wait. 


	17. 94. "i won't lose you too" & 25. "what the hell were you thinking?"

TK’s still not used to it. 

He’s not used to feeling like, for the first time in a _long time,_ maybe ever, he’s sure on his feet. He’s not used to feeling the same apprehension that crosses Judd’s face whenever they’re about to run into a burning building, surely thinking about Grace and the endless _what-ifs_ that come with doing their job. TK knows deep down that he loved Alex, even if he was so desperate to be in a fully-developed, adult relationship with who he thought was his _person_ that he was blind to the distance that had grown between them. But even if they didn’t end up working out, and maybe they never worked after those first few months, TK knows that part of him loved Alex. 

But it’s almost laughable, now, because even if Alex was his first love, it doesn’t hold a flame to the way his heart seems to expand in his chest when he even thinks about Carlos. 

And it’s a _good_ thing. He’s so fucking happy he feels like he’s floating on air, and it’s not just Carlos, because he knows the dangers of hindering his emotions on another person — despite his admitted dependency on others. But it’s the community, the _family_ that he’s found in Texas, of all places, that has him feeling like he does. But sometimes it’s a bad thing, this home he’s found. Because now he understands Judd and the way he runs his thumb over his wedding band when he’s lost in his thoughts, muttering praises to a God he doesn’t fully believe in when the whole team walks away from a successful response to a call. 

And that understanding seems to basically slap him in the face. 

They’d been dispatched to a house fire, called in just past midnight by a neighbour — nothing out of their wheelhouse. When they got to the small neighbourhood, the flames seemed to be licking at the inky night sky, dark smoke billowing out of the windows of the two-storey home. They’d been given a quick rundown, all information pulled from concerned neighbours: they noticed smoke a few minutes after they got home at midnight, and knew that the family was holding a birthday party and had relatives and friends from out-of-town staying with them. Owen had given a brief set of orders: Marjan, Judd and TK were to head in to try and pull people from the house, while Paul and one of the new probies dealt with the hose, Mateo in charge of attaching them to the nearest hydrant to add to their water supply. 

Signs of life were found quickly enough, and they were sent into the house, Judd taking the downstairs area while Marjan and TK trekked upstairs, where they could hear some cries for help. And now here they sit, smoke clouding up around them, and TK feels his heart suddenly sink because—because she was fine, thirty seconds ago, and now the older woman they’d found is gone. 

“TK, we have to keep moving,” Marjan says, though she’s reluctant, too. TK’s still staring down at her blank eyes, and he swallows. Marjan ducks her head downward, clutching her radio with her gloved hand. “This is Firefighter Marwani and Strand, we have a deceased female on the second floor and we need her to be retrieved. We still have another room to clear, Cap, then we’ll be out.” 

Owen’s voice comes through, affirming Marjan’s request, before she lets go of her radio and turns back to TK. 

“Hey, listen to me,” Marjan says, “We need to have clear minds, here, okay? I can’t— **I won’t lose you too,** TK, not when we can be smart about this.”

“Sorry, you’re right,” TK shakes his head, trying to move the thoughts of the dying woman to the back of his mind. He knows that they’ll need some good tea and bad TV — and probably a good cry, too — when they’re back at the station, but right now they have a job to do. 

“You better believe it, pretty boy,” Marjan grins at him, trying to pull him even further from his thoughts, and he rolls his eyes and nudges her. He doesn’t know how to tell her that it isn’t just the woman, but it’s the fact that he’s sort of _just now_ realized he’s in love with Carlos because he has something to keep fighting for. He has someone waiting for him — multiple someones, really, when he thinks of the rest of the 126 — and so he’s going to get his shit together and get out of here. Both of them are. 

He’s lost people on calls before, and even though it punches a hole through his chest, he knows there’s others that might need their help, so he keeps moving. They keep walking forward, TK focusing on the vibrant orange of her name on Marjan’s turnout coat, keeping him focused, and when they clear the last of the bedrooms, helping a man to his feet as he holds onto his child, they start making their way out. 

And that’s when they hear the baby’s cries. 

“TK?” 

Marjan catches his eye, and she knows what he’s going to do; she knows he’s going to risk going into an unsecured part of the house to get to the baby. 

“Be careful,” she warns, knowing if he were her, she wouldn’t want to be stopped. And so he goes, and he has to work around a half-collapsed floor, but he _makes it,_ and he secures an oxygen mask over the baby’s face, bundling her up in a blanket he finds in the crib and cradling her close to his chest as he makes it back to Marjan. 

“See? I’m always careful,” TK says, and she shakes her head at him but there’s a smile there, as she lets out a quick prayer as they make it out of the house. 

They hug for a long time that night, once everyone they’d been able to get out has been loaded into an ambulance. TK’s content to never be pulled out of her arms. 

* * *

After spending the last bit of his shift with Marjan, sitting out behind the station with Buttercup between them, letting the weight of the day fall off of them, TK is relieved when the next crew comes in and they’re able to go home. Which means that he’s going to Carlos’, where TK realizes he’s still got a sort of boundless energy that comes with just getting off a shift where he pulled some less-than smart stunts, and as he tells the stories to Carlos, his boyfriend’s face shifts into an expression of worry. 

“ **What the hell were you thinking?** ” Carlos asks him, voice hollow, and when TK furrows his brows at the other man in confusion, Carlos closes his eyes for a brief moment before he steps closer and whispers, “Shit, I’m sorry.” 

“You don’t have to be,” TK whispers back, knowing where the burst of emotion came from. He worries too — it’s a part of dating someone with similar experiences in the workplace. 

“I just get so worried about you, and—” Carlos cuts himself off, shaking his head, even as TK presses his palms to either side of the man’s face and forces him to look at him. “You make me nervous, Ty.” 

“In a good way?” TK asks, and Carlos’ eyebrows jerk up, almost in surprise.

“Yeah, in a good way,” Carlos insists, barely keeping his disdain for TK’s exes at bay. It always simmers under the surface — ever since TK mentioned that nobody’s ever been as gentle with him as Carlos is, nobody’s ever just _cared_ for him like he does. “I just can’t imagine losing you. I care about you so much, it scares me, sometimes. And I know it’s a part of your job, but—”

It hits TK, then, like a mirror of the moment he had back when he was in that house with Marjan: he loves Carlos. He’s the person that TK wants to fight through bad calls for. He’s the person that TK wants to come home to, and Carlos feels the same way, it’s right there on his face, his heart on his sleeve like always.

“I love you,” TK says, not even listening to the babbled words Carlos is using to try and steer them away from the conversation. 

“You…” 

“I’m in love with you,” TK says it again, voice not shaking as much. 

Carlos seems to move from being completely stressed out to surprised to overwhelmingly adoring in the matter of seconds. He presses their foreheads together, brushes his nose against TK’s in a fleeting moment of fondness. “I love you too.” 

“I can’t promise that there won’t be stupid stunts in the future,” TK adds, a little while later, Carlos working on his buttons with care as he tries to get comfortable on the couch, not really caring much because Carlos is hovering over him, knees on either side of his waist. Everywhere he looks there's Carlos, and he doesn’t even know if he’s making much sense, anymore, but he has to get it all out. Carlos looks at him as he talks, always so focused on him, and TK feels his skin burn pleasantly. “But I’m—I’m always going to try to come home to you. It’s all that I think about.” 

“ _Home,_ huh?” Carlos asks, teasing him as the current running between them sparks again; as a flare of something warm and familiar and enticing heats up and covers them completely. 

TK rolls his eyes, but nods anyway, reaching a hand up to cradle the back of Carlos’ neck to pull him down for another kiss. 

He pulls away, only to confirm the obvious. 

“Yeah. _Home._ ” 

And Carlos smiles brilliantly at him and is still smiling when they kiss again. And TK is ready to sink his feet into the ground so he doesn’t soar off to space, because there’s not a moment of this he ever wants to miss. 


	18. 85. "don't lie to me"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that's all, folks!! thank you to everyone who has sent me a prompt, read this series and/or left me lovely comments! 
> 
> my inbox is open on [tumblr,](https://reyesstrand.tumblr.com/) feel free to say hi or send me prompts/fic ideas!!

Three weeks to the day after the solar flare, Carlos receives a cryptic text from his mom:  _ come for lunch today?  _

He mulls it over; he loves his mother, and it’s no secret to anybody that knows him that he’s a total mama’s boy, but there’s got to be a reason behind her impromptu meal, and an evil part of his mind tells him it has to be bad news. She doesn’t mention anything about his sisters joining them, and Carlos doesn’t know if that should stress him out more or less. If it’s something bad, he’d assume that he and his sisters would find out at the same time — but that only leaves him more confused.

She’s a strong woman, and is a complete health-nut — ever since his abuela started having mobility issues, his mother’s been a champion for organic eating and natural sleep aids and doing yoga every morning. Carlos can’t put bad news from the doctor completely off the table, but he starts to drift towards the other countless possibilities — and so he can’t say no to her. Even if it’s his only day off that lines up with TK’s schedule, he spares a glance at his softly snoring boyfriend before figuring the man’s close enough with his own father that he’ll have to understand a shift in plans. And so Carlos finds himself more alert than he’d been when he’d rubbed sleep from his eyes and initially checked his phone five minutes ago, thumbs hovering over the screen before he sends her a simple  _ of course, mami,  _ and sets about getting ready for the day after pressing a quick kiss to TK’s hairline. 

He’s showered and had his coffee and is trying to quietly get dressed when Carlos hears TK groan and grumble, clearly fighting between catching a little more sleep and getting out of bed. Carlos watches with a small smile as TK slowly sits up when he realizes he’s alone in bed, before their gazes catch, and his heart soars as TK’s eyes visibly light up at seeing him. 

“Everything okay?” TK asks, voice still deep and groggy, and Carlos nods as he starts on buttoning up his shirt. 

“We might have to change our plans today,” Carlos says apologetically. “I really—fuck, I really wanted to spend he day with you, but my mom wants me to come over and she usually doesn’t spring stuff like that on me unless there’s something wrong, and—”

“Hey,” TK cuts him off, and Carlos raises his brows at him. “It’s okay, seriously. Marjan’s been bugging me to take Buttercup to get some pampering, anyway.” 

“You’re the best,” Carlos says, and TK grins at him. 

“Damn straight.” 

TK tilts his head up, clearly looking for a kiss. Carlos huffs out a laugh and comes in close, so their mouths are nearly touching, before he whispers, “You have no shame, do you.” 

“Nope,” TK grins, eyes crinkling in the corners, popping the  _ p  _ before he closes the space between them and gets the kiss he wanted. “I’ll see you later, though?”

His eyes shine with hopefulness, and Carlos nods earnestly. “I’ll text you when I’m on my way home.” 

There’s another brief kiss, before Carlos sighs as he presses their foreheads together.

“I hate just leaving on you,” Carlos admits, even though the thoughts surrounding what his mom’s intentions are with lunch are swirling around his mind. 

“I’ll be fine,” TK says, ducking forward to press another kiss to the corner of Carlos’ mouth. “Say hi to your mom for me.” 

It’s only half a joke — TK’s been talking, metaphorically, about meeting Carlos’ family for a week or so. He mentions it whenever Carlos talks about childhood memories or a story from one of his sisters, noting that Carlos has known his dad _technically_ even before he knew TK. But it never evolves from a few jokes, and even though Carlos wants nothing more than to continue to make their relationship solidified through introducing each other properly to the people that mean the most to them, he doesn’t know how to seriously approach that subject. 

Instead of trying now, Carlos leaves with a promised, “I’ll see you later,” before he grabs his keys and phone and makes his way out of his home. 

The half-hour drive goes by mostly in a blur, because he’s too caught up in what might unfold at the lunch. They usually try to have big family dinners bi-weekly, due to everyone’s work schedules and his sister’s kids’ schedules, but he can’t remember the last time a meal like this was just dropped on him the day-of. He does have the right state of mind to stop and grab his mom a bouquet of lilies, her favourite, before he pulls up to the humble farmhouse he’d lived in his whole childhood.

“Is everything okay?” 

The words are out of his mouth within seconds of stepping into the house, half-startling his mother as she pours out two glasses of sweet tea. 

“Can’t I ask my favourite son to have lunch with me when I know it’s his day off?” 

Carlos flushes a bit, handing the flowers to his mom as she pulls him in for a hug. “I’m your only son.” 

“Still my favourite,” she grins, smacking a kiss on his cheek before she gestures toward the back deck. He follows her, taking a deep breath as he goes. 

* * *

“I know something is up, baby.” 

He'd been expecting something regarding her own well-being or health, or his abuela's, so when the conversation turns to him he's sort of confused. And Carlos has grown up hearing from people that he has his mother’s eyes, and as he looks into them now, he thinks he sees the similarities as she looks at him with a particular warmth laced with concern he’s been accustomed to since he was born. 

“You know, I saw an interesting photo of you the other day,” she says it off-handedly, but Carlos still manages to choke on his drink. She doesn’t hesitate, going on to describe the picture he knows intimately because he posted it to his Instagram only forty-eight hours ago: him and TK, smiling as they stand close, too close to just be friendly to any onlooker, taken by Paul in the late hours of the night as they strolled around downtown after their shifts. He hadn’t even considered his family seeing the photo, and he silently rues the day his sisters made their mother various social media accounts so she could keep up with their lives. Her voice turns soft, as she squeezes his arm and asks, “Is there something you want to tell me?” 

“Uh, I have to pee.” 

He says it quickly enough that he can run off to inside the house, where the remnants of their lunch sits scattered over the counter. Carlos beelines for the bathroom and leans against the sink as he pulls out his phone. 

_ how do you feel about my mom knowing about you?  _

_ seriously.  _

Carlos sends the messages to TK and taps his phone against the heel of his palm as he waits for a response. He thinks back to his mother’s implications — that she knows about them, is  _ okay  _ with them — and figures that he could always lie. It’ll look suspicious as hell, of course, after he just fucked off like that, but he’s never really brought any boyfriends around before. Mainly because he’s never been in a serious enough relationship to warrant that. But he thinks — he  _ knows  _ that there’s something real between him and TK, and he wouldn’t hate his mom and eventually his sisters knowing about him and meeting him and welcoming him into the fold of their family dynamic. But he needs to make sure this is still something TK’s okay with, that it’s going at his pace. 

TK texts him back quickly, like always.  _ i was serious about wanting to meet her someday. maybe even soon. so if you want to talk about me i support you.  _

_ you’re sure?  _ Carlos texts back, as he feels his nerves starting to both tamper off and confusingly grow at the same time as he walks toward the backyard again, preparing to let his mother into this part of his life. 

_ 100%. tell her only the good things, i wanna impress her,  _ TK replies, along with a string of heart emojis. Carlos huffs a little, quickly typing out,  _ she’ll love you no matter what,  _ before pocketing his phone and sliding back into his seat across from his mother. 

“Sorry,” he mumbles, meeting her eyes, and as he opens his mouth to continue, she quickly interjects. 

“ **Don’t lie to me,** Carlos,” she warns, though there’s warmth behind her words, a desperate plea to tell him that she wants to be included in this part of his life, no matter how new it might be. "You know you can talk to me."

So Carlos takes another deep breath, not really looking at his mother as he whispers: “I met someone, mami.” 

He stares down at the ground; after a few seconds, he shifts his gaze to stare at the blooming gardens that live in clusters around the yard, various vegetables and flowers alike growing with vengeance as the summer welcomes them back into the world. When she makes a noise and he finally meets her gaze again, she’s looking at him with nothing but fondness. 

“Oh, baby,” his mom is smiling, now, and she brings his face close to press a kiss to his forehead. 

“It’s only been official for a few weeks but, um, I really like him,” Carlos admits, as his mother lovingly squeezes his hand. With a laugh, he adds: “I like him _a lot_. And I’d love for you to meet him.” 

His mother leans forward and curls her arms around him, like she did when he was a kid and he felt too small to conquer the world, and he immediately feels calm wash over him. “I would love to, mijo.” 

(Carlos has a flash of a memory, then, coming out when he was fifteen years old and terrified but desperate for his truth to be known. He first told his older sister Camila, and then his mother a couple of days later, and he remembers so vividly how they hugged his then-tiny frame, all knobbly bones and a height he was getting used to, both of them supportive and loving and adamant that nothing would change how much they love him. He towers over both of them now, but he feels protected in his mother’s arms, like he always has). 

As they pull out of the hug, his mother elbows him good-naturedly. “Alright, tell me about this boy then.” 

His mama’s grinning at him teasingly as she says it, and Carlos sits back and huffs out a laugh of his own, rubbing the back of his neck. 

“His name’s TK. He’s a firefighter,” Carlos says, barely holding back a bigger smile when his mother makes an approving face at that tidbit of information. “He’s—he’s funny and beautiful and has the warmest heart.” 

“I’m so happy for you,” his mother says, eyes bright with love, as if just listening to him talk about TK has made her realize how truly  _ happy  _ he is. And maybe it's allowed himself to look at inside retrospectively and figure out that _yeah,_ he is happier than he's ever been. “I’m sure I’ll love him. You’ll have to bring him around.”

“I will,” Carlos promises, feeling like he’s floating on air. “Oh, and he’s from New York City.”

He says it pointedly, knowing his mother’s always wanted to travel to the Big Apple. 

“Well,” his mother says, “I guess we’ll have to show your city boy how we do family dinners, then.” 

She brings him in for another hug as she smiles, before she goes off to refill their glasses. Carlos sits back, considering the idea of TK being a part of his family, for good — and he finds that he wants nothing else in the world. 

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! comments/kudos are greatly appreciated!


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